Tuesday, January 20, 2015


Yup. We're up in the middle of the night again. And when I say "we", I mean me. And maybe you. I don't know your life, those hidden cameras stopped working ages ago. But mostly me, because I'm the one here right now. So let's get on with this.

Why have I procrastinated? Well, I was going to update the new medicine progress a couple of weeks after last month's post. But then I thought: "Hey, dumbass, wait till after your followup appointment on January 15th. That'd make more sense than writing something now. Duh. You're so stupid." (my self isn't very nice to my self in these conversations. Don't worry though, my self talks about my self too, so that's just the relationship they seem to have with each other.)

So, I waited. Then I had my appointment. And then I waited another five days because WHY NOT!?

Well, a couple weeks before my appointment, I seemed to find the sweet spot of the medication. I take the generic Cymbalta at night, with one 10 mg tablet of Cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxer), and my nightly Hydrocodone (two to three tablets). In the morning, usually shortly before lunch (so, between 10 and 11 AM), I take two Hydrocodone. And then, for five to six straight hours, I feel good. (not including this utterly stupid condition in my foot).

You see, normally, I'll cook dinner. That takes anywhere from a half hour to an hour, depending on what we're having. It also uses my hands (because I don't use instant potatoes, because gross) and I'm on my feet the whole time. So, by the time I sit down to eat, I'm exhausted and sore. Then the Disabled Guy cleans up the kitchen after dinner.

I see the hilarious irony to ME not being able to clean up the kitchen, but the person I refer to as The Disabled Guy does. Yes, he's disabled, but his disability doesn't cause him physical pain. But back to the story...

I noticed something good was happening when I cooked dinner and cleaned up after myself as I went along. And when it was over, I sat down to eat, slightly tired, but not kicked-in-the-face exhausted. And I did the dishes after dinner.

A few days later, I baked cookies.

A few days after that, I baked the Disabled Guy's birthday cake and he didn't even realize it when he walked into the kitchen while it was in the oven, because I'd cleaned everything up and put it all away.

Then, I went to a photography workshop in Chicago. (spoiler alert- it was awesome). You want the link to those photos? I know you do. Here's the link to ~Cupcakes and Instaprints~

Then I baked cookies again. I went to the store. I did things. And as long as I kept up that cycle of medicine, I was able to do things in large blocks of time in the middle of the day. I seem to have found the exact balance of pain medicine for now. At my followup appointment, the doctor decided to keep everything the same (medication-wise) and when I feel confident enough to handle the task, I can try walking for exercise again (there's ice out there right now. As good as I feel, I don't want to slip on the ice and completely fuck up my cyborg knee).

The only thing that is still pissing me off is that goddamn left foot. There's not much we can do about it because I'm taking the vitamins associated with helping neuropathy and I've gained a little sensation back in the numbness. But I'm double-cursed with that stupid thing because not only do I have fibro, I've had my knee replaced on that side. And that can cause an issue with neuropathy.

Sure, I still have bad days- I mean, look at me, I'm here... middle of the night- but the good days are coming in longer stretches and lasting for longer stretches. I don't dread going to the store as much as I did before. Now it's more of the "Great, there are people in there" and less of the "Great, I have to walk in there" than it was before.

I can tell you exactly why I'm awake tonight. It snowed. After several days of our temps in the low 40s (that's in Fahrenheit) and with humidity well over the 50% mark, it started to snow this evening. And I was in bed with my hands throbbing from the pain and my legs were on fire. They still are. Not literally, of course. Just in that itchy-one-million-hairy-legged-spiders-trying-to-escape kind of way. On the plus side of this ridiculous insomnia, I'm washing one of my super-soft blankets. One of the cats decided it had been clean long enough and hoarked a hairball on it- which I saw BEFORE climbing into bed earlier- so it needed to be washed. And the lack of that blanket contributed to the itchy-on-fire leg thing. One blanket did nothing to ease any fibroinations (just made that up, right now. You're welcome!).

So, good things. Yay! Fewer bad things. Yay, again! Photography. Yay! Oh, and I get to see a bunch of my faire family in a week and a half. I'm going to an event called Military History Fest where a bunch of them are re-enacting military historical stuff. I mean, c'mon, it's right there in the name. So, Faire Family! YAY! MORE PHOTOS! YAY!!

And, now I leave you with some photos from my Instagram... because you deserve to DIE from the cuteness...

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on