Stuff about Open Carpal Tunnel Surgery and of course, the fibro...

First, let's cover the surgery thing. I didn't- as I'd mentioned in that video- update anyone after the cast thing came off my hand. So, let's start there... sort of.

If you're on my Facebook, you know how it has been going, because I did not one update, not two updates, not three, or four, not even five (which was the start of the second surgery). I did six, seven, eight, nine  updates on my Facebook. All my posts are public, so you should be able to see them.

My first surgery was amazing. Every single day felt like an improvement and within two weeks, I got most of the feeling back in my fingers. Just the very tips of my index and middle fingers are a bit tingly. But, I can feel things with them- including hot, cold, wet, or dry. My second surgery wasn't quite as fun. The pain after surgery was much, much worse. I spent a lot more time elevating and icing than I had to with the first. Even now, I sometimes have to wear a brace to do things- but the weird thing is that I don't have to wear any kind of brace to sleep with anymore. I've slept with braces on my hands for more than ten years. I was worried I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without them, but I adapted very quickly.

Here's a list of things I wish I knew ahead of my first surgery-

1- if you take a fistful of pills in the morning like I do, get yourself one of those days-of-the-week/month pill holders and set that shit up BEFORE  you go in for surgery. I didn't. Didn't even cross my mind. I take some vitamins (prescribed) and some other blood pressure and edema-related pills every morning. And I take a small amount of pills at night (pain meds, muscle relaxers, fibro med).

2- Get bottles without a childproof cap. My pain meds were in the super-dynamic-engineering type of bottle. I had serious problems getting into my bottles. The spouse- you know him, The Disabled Guy- only has the use of one hand himself, so the two of us trying to wedge a childproof cap off a Vicodin bottle was pretty hilarious... not as hilarious as the two of us one-handed wonders trying to get my giant DDD-cup bra on in the morning. Boy, THAT was an experience in pain and hilarity.

3- Get frozen meals or pre-cook/freeze meals. Not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a disabled spouse who is always home. He handled cooking okay and we had takeout and frozen pizza a lot. (he doesn't like to cook very much).

4- Train all of your pets ahead of time to bring you shit. Not actual shit, that's gross. Like, food and drink. Ice packs. Pain medicine. That remote control you kept dropping behind the sofa because you thought setting it on the pillow next to your swollen hand was a good idea.

5- Chihuahuas make good nurses. At least, in THEIR mind, they do.

Here is a link to a photo of  my left hand with stitches visible, and the right one with stitches and bruising. Here's one of just the scars (at four weeks and six weeks). They're not so bad right now, they look more like a slight discoloration than surgical scars.

Now that's out of the way, let's move on to the fibro thing. I think my Generic-Cymbalta-for-fibro has stopped working. I've been dealing with almost-daily flareup pain for just over a month. I have my semi-annual followup appointment two days from this typing. It started just like last time- I couldn't tell if it was the weather or if I was having issues with the medicine. I even thought that it was related to my hand surgery because that second one sucked a lot more for pain/issues. But it isn't that either. I didn't try to get in at the VA earlier, because I already have this appointment scheduled, so I just let the days drag on till now.

That said, the other day, I picked up some potted flowers at that big orange box store because it'd been SO LONG since I held my beloved Nikon in my hands. And I got a few really nice macro shots of flowers. And now, I share those with you, because what better way to end a blog update full of Facebook links and Mom Jokes? Enjoy!

This is the first batch of photos I have taken since my open carpal tunnel release surgeries. I did do a few snowflake macros in February, but I still had the cast on my arm, so it wasn't much effort to hold the camera. This day, however, I learned just where the pain was internally.

Despite the pain in my hand (which I controlled a bit by wearing a soft Neoprene wrist brace), I loved being outside to take photos again. In the weeks leading up to my surgeries (which were January 22nd and February 5th), I didn't have much chance to do a lot of photos (drab weather, lack of indoor flowers).
















This is the fingertip of my pinky finger. For size reference.

I see what you did there, Fibro...

I've been doing that thing I do where I plan on updating the blog, but then I don't because I forget or I procrastinate till...  I forget.

I had a bit of a flare up on a perfectly wonderful, sunny, gorgeous day. It was 65° Fahrenheit and just lovely. But it was a weak-ass flareup. It was mostly fatigue with a bit of pain. The morning dose of Vicodin took the edge off the pain. The fatigue stuck around and got worse as the day wore on, like a normal bout of flareup fatigue.

And I didn't really know why, so I checked the weather forecast. Well, let me show you a photographic representation. I've been doing the 365 self-portrait project since 2010. I've recently started my sixth year. I'm in a group on Flickr that calls itself: "We're Here". We pick a theme for a day and then we "invade" a group with our photos of that theme. The theme for that day- Sunday, March 22nd, was "Lazy Photography" and the description was: "The great photographers venture out into the world, fearless and tireless. They search for opportunities, and even create opportunities. god bless 'em. But this group is for when you'd rather park yourself on the couch or on the porch and wait for an opportunity to come to you. and if it doesn't come...just take a picture of your foot." 

I'm a literal smartass, so that is exactly what I did- I took a photo of my foot on the swing on my back porch (which is a massive wooden deck, actually).



And, this photo is less than 24 hours later-



Is it any wonder I was having a flareup?!

Yesterday, I was having one of those low-grade flareup feelings. I felt like crap, but I could at least sit down and stand up when I needed to... And I had to go to the store. I managed to live through it, the fatigue kept trying to pull me down to the floor, but I managed to get home.

A few hours later, my son came home from whatever it is he does when he's not home and not at work. He had two of his friends with him and the girl he's dating- I'm not sure if we're calling her his girlfriend yet or not, but you know... Anyway- the kids- and by "kids", I mean "adults in their early 20s" wanted me to take some photos for them. My son rides a sport bike. You and I probably know them better as "crotch rockets", but they don't like it when you call them that. So, of course I said I'd do it and we left the house to do some photos on a newly constructed dead-end street in an industrial area (no traffic). The girl didn't want to be in any of the photos so she and I sort of hung out while the guys did their drive-bys so I could do panning shots and so on. During the course of our conversations, I told her this about my fibro- "I could either sit at home and feel like shit, or I can come out here, take some cool photos of you guys and still feel like shit. So, I'm here." (and I said that's how I survive the faire on flareup days. I can sit at home and feel bad or I can at least be somewhere fun with great people). I spent a couple hours on my feet, walking around this dead end street (it was a weird dead end, the long street gave way to a 90° turn and that part ended about a half mile up. But there were no buildings around it, just an open field on one side, a highway at the end, and a pheasant farm on the other side).

Then there's today. Today, at 4 AM, my body decided to wake me up. Wake me up out of a dead sleep. Because why the fuck not? I stayed in bed till 430, trying to trick myself into falling back to sleep, but it didn't work. Fibrofuckingmyalgia will not listen to reason. And when I tried to move, my body was quite sure that was a bad idea. It took me ten minutes to get out of bed and get downstairs. After I did my morning stuff (breakfast, reading news, catching up on Facebook, trash day, dogs out), I went back to bed to try and take a nap. It was a crappy, less-restful 90 minutes of semi-consciousness. And today is the first of the month, so I had bill-paying errands to do. I struggled for everything today. Showering, getting dressed, going outside, trying to get into the vehicle (mid-size pickup truck), standing at the bank, walking. Breathing. Blergh.

I took my usual morning dose of Vicodin. I did all those things and at 2 PM, I took two more Vicodin. And about 45 minutes later, I felt the edge slide off the pain. I was still in pain, but at least I didn't have to struggle to get up out of my chair. And here's why-

Tomorrow's got rain (a 90-goddamn-percent chance of rain), then we just drop all the warmth and go back to cold temps. For a freakin' day. The earlier weather (that I didn't screen cap) was predicting snow on Friday, so I suppose I should be glad that we're just getting rain tomorrow and cold on Friday.

So, the Generic Cymbalta isn't an all-out miracle, but damn, there are a lot more good days than bad now. I'm going to accept that. Because a little flareup that goes away after a couple of hours is doable. And today's shitty flareup? Well, it sucks, but it also has a clear reason (the weather) and I feel like there's an end to it. Compared to last Spring when I had a "flareup" that lasted for months- I'll take it. But I see what you did there, Fibrofuckingmyalgia... April 1st- haha, sucks to be you, human! BOOM. Flareup on April Fool's Day.

And because I know you're wondering, here are a few shots from yesterday with the guys.




This one is called "Girls on Instagram be like..."











This is yesterday's 365. I had Andrew (kid in red) hold the camera because he was the tallest. My son is in the black helmet behind me with the girl he's been seeing, and Reese is behind them. And I am woefully underdressed for this party.

The Return of the Flipper Foot

I have a triple threat when it comes to my left foot. My left foot is on the leg that I had my knee replaced (strike one). My left foot is on the body that has fibrofuckingmyalgia (strike two). My left foot has absolutely no talent and will never be an inspirational story that will win an Oscar when it gets adapted to the big screen (strike three).

Seriously though, I've had edema issues since late 2004. It has been blamed on everything from early menopause to a shrug followed by a mumbled "I dunno". What is the most likely thing is the fibro. Sure, the fluctuating hormones that are par for the course in early menopause probably don't help, but hey, fibro is the big thing.

With the new fibro medicine (the generic Cymbalta), my swelling has gone almost completely away. My feet and lower legs will sometimes get puffy, but they get puffy in that way that says: "the human we're attached to is morbidly obese, so I get a little puffy" way. Well, last night, the flipper foot returned. Actually, it made some weak attempts to return, but last night the flipper foot reappeared. I'm going to share the photo as a link, just in case swollen flipper feet gross you out. You see, I'm wearing a too-big pair of Nike slip-on sandals as slippers. My son gave them to me. I wear a size 8 in men's sizes and my son's feet are size 13. He got these for free or something, I dunno. All I know is that they're thick-soled and have memory foam on them. So, this photo will show the flipper foot with a dent in it, where the sandals press into it. It was funny to me but a little gross for someone who isn't attached to the flipper itself.
~~link to the dented flipper foot~~ SEE WHAT I MEAN!?

Anyway, I have no idea what caused ol' Flipperty to come back last night. I just checked- Flipperty is back tonight too, but not as intense as he was last night.

I had a flareup on Saturday that lasted less than a day. And by a "day", I mean I woke up feeling like hell and by lunchtime, I felt okay again. So, let's just keep that up and I'll deal with Flipperty.

Now to take it down a notch. Or sideways. I'm not sure where I'm going with this because I'm not sure where this whole thing is right now... but whatever...

When I talk about how good I feel with the new fibro drug, there's still pain. There will always be pain. But the pain is more tolerable. I can function like a normal person instead of just pretending everything is fine. And it pisses me off a little bit that no matter what I do, there will always be SOME kind of pain. I mean, fucking hell, I'm sitting here right now, 1016 PM as I type this sentence. I'm three hours past my drugs for the night. I shouldn't be feeling anything, much less be able to type without looking at my hands and hit the control+i keys to make my text go italics. And I've still got pain. I'd say the pain is at about a two or three on that stupid pain scale.

Anyway, I am going to end this with a few photos of sparrows that I took the other day. Because Pahz Lives with this Bullshit, Talks about that Bullshit, and Never Shuts up about this Other Thing that Isn't Bullshit and don't you ever call it that! (whew, I don't know where THAT came from- but dammit, don't call the faire "bullshit" because I love that place).






All birds are majestic eagles on the inside.



Also, I have asthma (a very mild form of it, and yet, it can still kill me), so when it gets cold in the single or negative digits, I have to cover my mouth and nose when I go outside so it doesn't trigger an asthma attack. And I say it looks like I'm going to rob a stagecoach.

This is Day 11 of my 6th year doing the 365 Self-Portrait Project on Flickr- (yes, those are tiny snowflakes in my hair and yes, that is my real eye color). I called this: "The Great Northern Stagecoach Robber" because I think I'm clever. So, one bonus of the weather changing is that I don't need to cover my face to take the dogs out.

What a refreshing change of pace!

Wisconsin weather was doing the usual thing it does this time of year and it triggered a bit of a flareup. What's the thing it does this time of year? That would be shooting up 30° (Fahrenheit) in a 36 hour period, erratic humidity, and then dropping to below-freezing at night. But, the flareup was more of the "drag me to the floor" exhaustion than pain. There was pain, but not as much as a "normal" (haha!) flareup.

"But wait," you say, "You said something was refreshing... well, what was it? WHAT WAS SO GOL'DURNED REFRESHING?!"

Calm down, Shouty Pants. The refreshing bit was arthritis. Yeah. My right hand was sore and a bit achy. ACHY. I had arthritis pain in my hand! Just your normal, run-of-the-mill arthritis pain in my knuckles! My fingers were a bit stiff too. STIFFNESS and PAIN NOT ASSOCIATED with fibro! I was so happy, I almost cried. But instead, I had ice cream.

I'm always amazed when something feels normal. I spend a lot of days weighing my energy levels against the pain/lack-of-pain and how much I need to do. But this last little flareup, I sat down in the living room, on the sofa, covered in Chis (say that out loud!) and found myself rubbing the knuckles on my right hand and my brain didn't automatically go "FUCKIN' FIBRO!" My brain said: "What the hell, man? Arthritis? Why the hell- OH MY GOD! THIS IS ARTHRITIS!"

I tell ya, man, it's the little things.

So, the new medicine seems to be working (as long as I don't fuck with things!) and aside from the mind-numbing exhaustion, the flareups haven't been terrible. I'm also still having pain in my foot from the plantar fasciitis, but it comes and goes. I also still have neuropathy (painful numbness) in that foot, too... but dammit, let's stop with the negativity.

I've got 67 days till the Janesville Renaissance Faire.

I've got 123 days till the start of the Bristol Renaissance Faire.

There are 207 days till the Stronghold Olde English Faire (and my birthday!).

And 214 days till A Gathering of Rogues & Ruffians! (date subject to change)

AND about 255 days till Teslacon!

Whew... those are my standing events. I don't know what else I have going on, but those are the important things.

And yes, I DO happen to have some photos to share. That's the name of the blog- "Pahz Lives with Fibro and Talks about Photography". (although, technically, I should call it "Pahz Lives with Fibro, Talks about Photography, and Never Shuts the Hell Up about Renaissance Faires.". However, the joke's on you! Teslacon is a steampunk event!!)

So, on to some unrelated photos-

Gypsy-



Luna-



Jasper-



Bruno-



And a few shots of the sparrows who live around the house. And in various small openings in the house.

Some good news and maybe some weird shi- news...

First of all, the new medicine still seems to be working out. My bad days are becoming random and not predictable (as in- "not every day"). Any recent flareups have been related to the completely random weather we've been having (warm, then cold, then warm and snowy, then cold and clear, then and then and then...) So, we can call generic Cymbalta some kind of success.

Now for the weird shit...

For a long time now- and I'm not even sure how long because I haven't been keeping track- the palm of my right hand has been itching. Like severely itching. Not the skin- it isn't on the surface. It feels like something furry and angry and maybe a little bored is trying to wriggle out from under the skin. It's almost dead center in my palm. And nothing helps. Scratching just creates an irritation on my skin. Ice makes it settle a little, but mostly it just makes my hand cold (and then causes the Raynaud's to pop up). I've tried Old Wive's tails (rubbing it against wood- not that kind of wood, though I suspect if I did that, it'd distract me enough from the itching) and I've tried rubbing it against money (the Disabled Guy's family is overflowing with ridiculous superstitions).

So, I finally did a Google search to see if it was maybe related to the medicine. It is not. But the funniest thing to me was on the list of possibilities that apply to me- the two choices: Cirrhosis or a nerve issue related to carpal tunnel and/or fibro. I laughed for far too long about that Grand Canyon-esque leap of extremes.

Now, I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV, but I'm going to say right now that I'm not dying of liver failure and the itching is related to the nerve issue. (which makes sense, because it is almost always in my right palm and very rarely in my left- or even both at the same time. And my right hand has more carpal tunnel issues than my left because I'm right-handed). And, it's also one of those casual "mention it to your doctor at your next visit" things, unless it accompanies other shit that I don't have.

AND this... the generic Cymbalta for fibro... it turns out, that it may cause a drop in the body's sodium levels. I noticed that I wasn't swelling up as much as I have been (remember the flipper foot?). My cheekbones returned a bit and my clothes were fitting better. I didn't think anything of all that, other than I was feeling better, so my edema wasn't as bothersome. A couple weeks ago, I started to get dizzy and just sort of gross-feeling. Not sick, just not right. I decided to look up the side effects of the new medicine, to make sure I was just having normal shit going on, because I've been on it a few months. And, it turns out that it can cause Hyponatremia. If you don't feel like clicking the link, basically, that's abnormally low sodium in the body. Because we need some sodium to live.

I've been on a sodium-watchful diet since I was in my mid-20s. (technically, since I was 16, because my dad had his first heart attack then and my mom switched the entire household to a heart-healthy diet). When I was 26, my doctor told me I had high blood pressure and to go on a low sodium diet to help it. I tried and it did help- but in my late 20s, I couldn't fake them out anymore. So, along came the BP medication and the sodium-watchful diet. I call it "sodium watchful" because we eat pizza and such occasionally and people who are on an actual low sodium diet wouldn't do that. But, I do watch my sodium intake. Plus, I take water pills for the edema (Hydrochlorothyazadide). That would explain why I feel better for four or five hours after lunch during my day. My cereal for breakfast has almost no sodium in it. But, my lunch does.

I went on a bit of a sodium binge late last week into the weekend. I giddily ate potato chips and beef jerky because SODIUM! I simultaneously felt better and crappy at the same time. Anyway, now I know what a shark feels like when it swims too far into a river and loses the salt balances in its body. At least in my case, I can have a snack bag of barbecue potato chips and feel better. A shark has to eat a few people and then get hunted down by humans.

AND FINALLY... On Saturday last (as in, last Saturday, January 31st), I went to my first-ever Military History Fest. This guy has been nagging me to go (okay, so he asked me twice over the course of two years). I was going to go last year, but it snowed through the night and I didn't think it was safe to drive that far into unfamiliar territory. Well, this year, it started snowing at the end of the day, as I turned onto my street on my way home. As for "unfamiliar territory", the drive was literally an hour of I-90 and maybe a half hour of a couple small towns to the west of I-90. What I'm saying is, I've gone a lot farther down I-90 into Chicago and back again in worse weather... so I probably could have gone last year.

The big deal about that is that the VA has started regulating my Hydrocodone refills and now I get just enough to get me through a month. I didn't have any extra to take during the day over the weekend. I did all day at Military History Fest without pain meds. And the only problem I had the entire time was the pain in my foot. (my left foot, which will not win me an Oscar). And, I had a blast seeing the folks from GSM-Bristol and the Guilde of St George because everyone was so relaxed and not totally in character like they have to be at Bristol. I was in boring, normal clothes, but next year, I'll wear my (historically-inaccurate) garb so I fit in a slight bit more. I mean, I rocked my blue jeans, Wonder Woman T-shirt, and my metallic Docs, but I'd have felt less obvious in my garb.
(here's my 365 from that day). I sat through two panels, one about brewing beer and beerlike products and another about sewing. I learned a few things, but most notably, modern beer is for wusses because old-time-y beer (or, "olde-time-y") had way, way more alcohol content.

So, things are looking good. And I'm very optimistic about this year's faire season. We have approximately 99 days till the Janesville Faire. We've got about 155 days till Bristol. Bring it on. BRING IT ON!!

Instead of flooding this post with photos- like I'd normally do- I will just share the link to the album because you sort of have to see ALL the photos.  (this is just the photos of GSM, I haven't uploaded all the photos to Flickr yet).

~~GSM-Bristol in Shenanigans Through Time~~

And, I did a short video... I think you'll enjoy it. (I even tried to close-caption it). This video shows just how awesome the folks from GSM-Bristol really are. And the other group in the video is called 20th Century Marines (that's the link to their Facebook page).

I put the PRO in PROCRASTINATION and PROGRESS!

Yup. We're up in the middle of the night again. And when I say "we", I mean me. And maybe you. I don't know your life, those hidden cameras stopped working ages ago. But mostly me, because I'm the one here right now. So let's get on with this.

Why have I procrastinated? Well, I was going to update the new medicine progress a couple of weeks after last month's post. But then I thought: "Hey, dumbass, wait till after your followup appointment on January 15th. That'd make more sense than writing something now. Duh. You're so stupid." (my self isn't very nice to my self in these conversations. Don't worry though, my self talks about my self too, so that's just the relationship they seem to have with each other.)

So, I waited. Then I had my appointment. And then I waited another five days because WHY NOT!?

Well, a couple weeks before my appointment, I seemed to find the sweet spot of the medication. I take the generic Cymbalta at night, with one 10 mg tablet of Cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxer), and my nightly Hydrocodone (two to three tablets). In the morning, usually shortly before lunch (so, between 10 and 11 AM), I take two Hydrocodone. And then, for five to six straight hours, I feel good. (not including this utterly stupid condition in my foot).

You see, normally, I'll cook dinner. That takes anywhere from a half hour to an hour, depending on what we're having. It also uses my hands (because I don't use instant potatoes, because gross) and I'm on my feet the whole time. So, by the time I sit down to eat, I'm exhausted and sore. Then the Disabled Guy cleans up the kitchen after dinner.

I see the hilarious irony to ME not being able to clean up the kitchen, but the person I refer to as The Disabled Guy does. Yes, he's disabled, but his disability doesn't cause him physical pain. But back to the story...

I noticed something good was happening when I cooked dinner and cleaned up after myself as I went along. And when it was over, I sat down to eat, slightly tired, but not kicked-in-the-face exhausted. And I did the dishes after dinner.

A few days later, I baked cookies.

A few days after that, I baked the Disabled Guy's birthday cake and he didn't even realize it when he walked into the kitchen while it was in the oven, because I'd cleaned everything up and put it all away.

Then, I went to a photography workshop in Chicago. (spoiler alert- it was awesome). You want the link to those photos? I know you do. Here's the link to ~Cupcakes and Instaprints~

Then I baked cookies again. I went to the store. I did things. And as long as I kept up that cycle of medicine, I was able to do things in large blocks of time in the middle of the day. I seem to have found the exact balance of pain medicine for now. At my followup appointment, the doctor decided to keep everything the same (medication-wise) and when I feel confident enough to handle the task, I can try walking for exercise again (there's ice out there right now. As good as I feel, I don't want to slip on the ice and completely fuck up my cyborg knee).

The only thing that is still pissing me off is that goddamn left foot. There's not much we can do about it because I'm taking the vitamins associated with helping neuropathy and I've gained a little sensation back in the numbness. But I'm double-cursed with that stupid thing because not only do I have fibro, I've had my knee replaced on that side. And that can cause an issue with neuropathy.

Sure, I still have bad days- I mean, look at me, I'm here... middle of the night- but the good days are coming in longer stretches and lasting for longer stretches. I don't dread going to the store as much as I did before. Now it's more of the "Great, there are people in there" and less of the "Great, I have to walk in there" than it was before.

I can tell you exactly why I'm awake tonight. It snowed. After several days of our temps in the low 40s (that's in Fahrenheit) and with humidity well over the 50% mark, it started to snow this evening. And I was in bed with my hands throbbing from the pain and my legs were on fire. They still are. Not literally, of course. Just in that itchy-one-million-hairy-legged-spiders-trying-to-escape kind of way. On the plus side of this ridiculous insomnia, I'm washing one of my super-soft blankets. One of the cats decided it had been clean long enough and hoarked a hairball on it- which I saw BEFORE climbing into bed earlier- so it needed to be washed. And the lack of that blanket contributed to the itchy-on-fire leg thing. One blanket did nothing to ease any fibroinations (just made that up, right now. You're welcome!).

So, good things. Yay! Fewer bad things. Yay, again! Photography. Yay! Oh, and I get to see a bunch of my faire family in a week and a half. I'm going to an event called Military History Fest where a bunch of them are re-enacting military historical stuff. I mean, c'mon, it's right there in the name. So, Faire Family! YAY! MORE PHOTOS! YAY!!

And, now I leave you with some photos from my Instagram... because you deserve to DIE from the cuteness...

Gypsy. (She doesn't have a "full name", but we call her "Gypsy-doodle" & she answers to "Doodle", "Poodle", "Dood", "Poopy-Puppy", "Poopy" & the kids call her "Doodle-head" sometimes). But she's a dignified wittle poopy-puppy. #GSD #germanshepherd #dog #pet

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on Jan 20, 2015 at 9:25am PST

"I'm not looking at your, therefore, you cannot see me." ~Luna #chihuahua #dog #pet #sassy #somuchsass

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on Dec 30, 2014 at 10:01am PST

Bruno and Jasper. All the dogs were in this shot before Instagram cropped it. #chihuahuas #dogs #pets

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on Dec 29, 2014 at 9:04am PST

Gregg the Girl Dog with the Boy Name. (We just call her Gregg). No big story, just adorableness. #chihuahua #dog #pet #sunshine

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on Dec 30, 2014 at 9:52am PST

Houdini (aka: Beefy). She could have been living with a jouster and his family, living a fun life and traveling the country with horses and other dogs, but she wouldn't bond with anyone but him. She was scared of him in his armor, even if he was just wearing the greaves. So, after 2 months of trying to acclimate her, he sadly had to give her back. Now she lives the boring life with me and the Disabled Guy (and the rest of the dogs. #chihuahua #dog #pet #sunshine

A photo posted by Pahz (@pahz_on_instagram) on Dec 30, 2014 at 9:48am PST

Well, Hello there! Been a while, hasn't it?

Hi there. Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I wish I could say it was because nothing but goodness and rainbows were all around, but hey, I was just being lazy and procrastinating the hell out of updating.

First of all, Teslacon 2014. It was, of course, amazing. I managed to snag a room in the big hotel (that's where the convention takes place) and that made things immensely easier. Christine and her boyfriend came along and at the last minute, a friend ended up crashing with us, so I was able to save money on the room (that's a thing with the Disabled Guy- he hates spending money unless it is being spent on things for his model trains). My Steampunk Wonder Woman outfit was a huge hit. Everyone loved it. I got so many compliments on that outfit that I just want to wear it all the time. Since everyone who reads this blog is either on my Facebook or Tumblr, you've all seen the Steampunk Wonder Woman outfit.
~Here's the link if you haven't~

I learned something at Teslacon. I can only stand on my feet for an hour before I really need to sit down. And I would need to sit down for a while, not a few minutes. By Saturday evening, my feet felt like they were being sliced open with a vegetable peeler and then stuffed back into leather shoes. That was the worst part for me- the pain. And the pain was mostly foot-related and not so noticeably fibro-related.

Oh, speaking of fibro-related... I arrived to the hotel on Thursday, because Teslacon officially starts on Friday morning. And the friend who ended up crashing in our room with us was there on Thursday as was another friend who only needed a bed for one night (she was staying at a hotel across the street but her husband wouldn't get to Teslacon till Friday afternoon. Heck, Christine and her boyfriend didn't arrive till Friday afternoon either). Anyway, we're all in the room. I'm laying in bed listening to my friends sleeping. Nice, quiet, soothing breathing sounds, like people do when they sleep. AND MY GODDAMN BODY DECIDES TO HAVE FAKE INSOMNIA! There I was, listening to all the sleeping, wide-fucking-awake till three in the morning! If I had been home, I'd have gotten up to come here and complain about it. I woke up at 6 AM, fully awake again. I did the entirety of Friday on three hours sleep. Dressed as Steampunk Wonder Woman.

~Here is the link to my Teslacon album~

Despite the pain and very obvious tiredness, I loved it. And because I didn't have to foot the cost for the room entirely on my own, I was able to purchase my tickets for NEXT year at the hotel, so I saved a few bucks that way (you can get them online starting in January, but there's a charge related to the online transaction). I'm hoping to get a room in the big hotel again for next year. (it was nice to be an elevator ride away if I needed to fall flat on my face). My one regret was that I couldn't get to the closing ceremonies. I was in line, I was walking, but about halfway there, my body just said "NOPE" and I had to sit down.

Now, moving forward... the Vicodin and muscle relaxers aren't working all that great, but I do feel better overall while taking them as opposed to when I don't. (my muscles are less stiff than they would be if I weren't taking them). That thing in my foot that I needed those shots for? Well, it kinda came back. It comes and goes. Some days, it doesn't hurt at all and some days it's so painful I want to chop my foot off and throw it to the sharks. That'd be quite a throw, since I live in the Midwest. I'm taking daytime Vicodin every day now. Oh, speaking of Vicodin... they changed the classification of it and now I have to call in a refill every month instead of just getting a year's worth of refills without having to talk to a human. I have to call, speak to a human, then wait for the pills to be sent to me. Every. Single. Month. I'm just waiting for the day they say I have to drive up to pick them up in person. It's only an hour away, but damn, way to make things a pain in the ass. I've had to start planning my days by how much Vicodin I can take and still function. I'm allowed six pills in a 24 hour period and I'm trying NOT to take that many. I've started timing my trips to the store with when I take the Vicodin and I've even considered using my cane again. And we all know how much I loathe using my cane. (I do, by the way, hate using my cane, just in case anyone forgot).

Earlier this week, I got a letter from my doctor. The VA Hospital's powers-that-be have "approved a 12-week trial run" for the generic version of Cymbalta for me. And so far, everything I've read about it seems to be good. And by that I mean- when it works for people, it works well. What I've been reading has been one or the other- it works well or it doesn't work at all. I haven't found much about "well, it makes me swell up for no reason without noticing for two months till I've loosened all the laces in my boots and can't lace up my corsets properly for faire"... or is that just me?

It's probably just me.

So, as soon as that Generic to Cymbalta arrives, I'll start taking it. And then we'll see... oh yes, we will see... (was that sinister? I was going for sinister).

I don't have any "events" coming up till January 31st. I'll be going to Military History Fest for the first time. My friend, Jeff
(who is one of the most awesome people ever), has been trying to get me there for the last two years. And why does he want me there so badly? Does he like me? Does he enjoy my company? Probably... but it's mostly because they need someone to take photos of their shenanigans.
("They" being GSM-Bristol). Last year, I was planning on going, but a snowstorm kept me from going. This year, I say damn the torpedoes! I'm going, snow or not! There were a variety of slightly blurry mobile phone pics from last year, of the GSM boys acting all over the timeline of military history. And dammit, I want to document it with proper camera equipment. The weird part will be that I'll be in regular clothing. Most of those people haven't seen me in regular clothing. It'll be a shock for all of us, I'm sure.

Now is when I'd usually say: "Now my favorite photos from Teslacon!"... well, just go to the album (linked above and again here). My absolute favorite shots are from the Grand Ball on Saturday night and the cast photos that I got to do. They let me set up my light stand (with umbrella and flash) in the casts' green room for a couple of hours. It worked out great, because I had a place to sit and rest and a fairly decent background to work with. And I just sat and waited for cast members to come and go. You'll recognize some faces from Bristol. (mainly my sea captains and other various nobility).

So, instead of filling this post up with photos you can clearly see by going to the whole album, I'll share my 365 photos from that weekend...

Thursday- I actually purchased a copy of that poster and it is hanging in my kitchen now.



Friday- I'm just going to link to it because it's a shot of my flipper foot after an entire day mostly on my feet (dressed as Steampunk Wonder Woman). The reason the swelling looks so weird is just because of the way my boots squished it around.

Saturday- we were getting ready for the Grand Ball. I wore my black blouse with my red and black Damsel in this Dress corset with a long red skirt and matching bustle. But this is a mobile phone shot of my face after I did my makeup. I texted it to the Disabled Guy with: "TELL ME I'M PRETTY!!" His reply was: "Pretty."



And on Sunday. Me with Thee Bluebeard! (he was our roommate at the hotel). I had him hold the camera and I fired it with my remote trigger. And being Thee Bluebeard, he was an excellent sport about it. And yes, I decided at the last minute to dress up as my Steampunk Wonder Woman on Sunday. How could I not? That hat is fabulous! (by the way, those buttons on my bodice are for the "L.I.O.N.S. of Teslacon", "The Baton Faction", Thee Bluebeard, and the weird-shaped medal is one of my old shooting medals. It says: "Small-bore Sharpshooter" and I thought it was a hilarious pun because of the photography thing).

Well... I've had worse and managed to live through it...

As optimistic as my few posts about the new drug were, it seems we were premature in any happy-dancing or whoo-hooing we were doing. Bristol ended about two weeks ago, and I thought things were going okay. I was trying to ignore everything that had gone wrong.

The pain came back (but not as intensely as before).

My left foot with that whole swollen flipper thing (well, that MUST be from all the walking at faire, right?)

Flareups started happening on a regular basis. (well, dammit, the weather is changing, right?)

THE PAIN CAME BACK. I STARTED SWELLING EVERY DAY.

So yeah, turns out that the Effexor wasn't working for me. I mean, at first it was amazing, but the longer it went on, the worse things got. I had my followup appointment today and not only was I swollen, the scale said I haven't lost any weight from faire. And that's ridiculous because I lose weight EVERY season at Bristol. My jeans were loose to the point of being able to pull them down without unbuttoning them. Well, till a few weeks ago, when the swelling took up a lease and rented space in my legs.

I was trying to ignore the pain, too. But it came back. It seemed more like it was localized in my larger muscles and of course, my hands. The swelling didn't help any of this at all.

What kind of swelling am I talking about? Well, I took photos. Let's take a look, shall we?

I took these photos on Monday (September 8th) in the evening.

Well, that looks awful. My ankles and feet are so small because I had just taken off my hiking boots. I figured they looked worse against the bed like that, so I took two shots from a different position, with my leg in the air.

So, yeah... I should have taken some photos of the flipper-foot. That thing is freaky.

The doctor told me to stop taking the Effexor (and don't worry about that- there are people who take it and have to wean off it. My dose was so low that it shouldn't matter). They're going to try me on the generic form of Cymbalta. The good news is that if the Cymbalta doesn't work, they'll HAVE to put me on Lyrica. And then I can become that annoying chick in the commercials, griping about the "all over pain" and how our "nerves transmit pain signals to our brains" because even though I failed 10th grade biology, I still knew that without the commercial's help.

As for the numbness and pain in my foot- they're going to run some blood tests and if my blood says I need it, I'll start a B-12 supplement. You see, I have three strikes against me for the neuropathy thing.  One- the fibro. That's a huge thing that can cause neuropathy. Two- my thyroid disorder. That's another thing that can trigger a severe neuropathy thing. And my blood work today showed that my thyroid had gone wonky again. And three- having a knee replacement. While the knee replacement is the best thing ever, it also has some pains in the ass to it as well. Well, not actual ass-pain. But you know what a pain in the ass having a numb foot and toes can be. If you don't, you should totally try it out! (no, don't. It isn't as much fun as the brochure led me to believe).

So, we have to tweak an existing drug (the thyroid pill- I've been on it since I was 18 and have had the dose fiddled with here and there), change up the other drug (Effexor to Cymbalta), and then check all the blood again in "about six weeks". The date I have to go in for the lab work is on the first day of Teslacon (because I'll be in town anyway). I sure hope everyone at the VA hospital that day likes the Steampunk outfit I'll be wearing.

And now- let's talk about the faire... because I like to end on a high note.

Overall, this season was much better, pain-wise. I also had my usual amount of fun and I loved nearly every minute of faire. I had mostly good days, related to fibro pain, but my foot/feet caused all sorts of issues. It was worth it, though. Because I'd rather be at Bristol in pain than at home (in pain or otherwise). It happened too fast and it felt like it had just started when we were on closing day. I won't get to see most of my faire family again till next year. But, luckily, I can see a lot of them in a few weeks at Stronghold and then again at A Gathering of Rogues & Ruffians a week after. Then, a whole mess o' them are going to be at Teslacon. And as we know, the only reason I started going to Teslacon was because of my people.

~Here's the link to my 2014 Bristol photo albums~

And, here are the 365s I did at faire this year. (if you want the whole story, you'll have to click on the photo to read it). When I look back at these photos, all I can see is a puffy and pained person standing next to a bunch of cool people who do a lot harder work than I could even imagine.

They do all the hard stuff and I show up and take pretty pictures of it.

Me and Sir Mauldron (real name- Steve)- using the remote trigger, Christine as my human tripod.



Me with the Baby Dragon fairy as a human. (real name- Savannah; she gave me a signed photo of Steam Powered Giraffe).



Me with "Squire Archer" (one of the dragon's younger brothers, real name- Colton). Big shock, I was talking when I took this shot.



Me and Todd!



Me with the Storm fairy named Epona. (real name- Tess. She was my favorite with the baby dragon). Because of her, I kept extra treats in my basket.



Me with Christine's boyfriend, Casey, on his second day at Bristol.



And this is Loki! (we love Loki- real name is Vince). I had the great idea to make the tall person hold my camera while I used the remote trigger.



This is Jeff! Usually he's wearing historically-accurate clothing (he's with the Guild of St Michael- the historical reenactors at Bristol), but he took a patron day and attended the faire with his family.



Don Vincenzo (real name- Vince) and I are photobombed by Todd.



Me, the Italian, and Edgeron's giant pickle (yes, we know it's a zucchini)



Me with Joseph at the end of a particularly exhausting day. We sat in the dais after the last joust and chatted about life, the universe, and everything for about twenty minutes.



A slightly blurry photo of me with Sir Maxx (real name- Matthew; who happens to be the father of the baby dragon and the squire, pictured above).



Me with Edgeron. I don't cheer for Edgeron. Ever. But the guy named Jack who plays him, he's pretty cool. (compare this photo with this one from three years ago!)



And me with Mauldron again. Except he's in regular clothes. He was injured after being unhorsed the previous week, so he was not jousting as a precaution (he's fine though! Just a little banged up).