The Sometimes Annual Snowfall Rant- SNOW REMOVAL

Hey there! You guys know me. You know I have some medical issues... chronic pain (fibro and rheumatoid arthritis), I've got some foot issues too (tendinitis and plantar fasciitis), there's tendinitis in my shoulder, and I've had both knees replaced (one almost eight years ago, the other about seven months ago). I even had carpal tunnel surgery in both hands! 

And I have weather-induced asthma.
I call this look "Stagecoach Robber Chic"

And if you know me like you do, you know that I have a huuuuge pet peeve. I really, really hate it when people don't clear the snow off their vehicles before driving them. Look, I understand if you're disabled. Heck, I'm very familiar with disabled people.

Well, this one anyway.

Unless you're disabled and without someone to help or recently injured or surgeried up, I get it. Clearing the snow is just hard work. But if you're at all mobile- like me, I still walk with a slight limp. If you can walk and stand, odds are that you can clear the damn snow off your car. Here... look at my vehicle. That's a 2012 Chevrolet Colorado.

His name is Blueberry.

And, in just about ten or fifteen minutes, I made him look like this!

His name is still Blueberry.

But wait! I can hear you say right now: "C'mon, Pahz, I don't have a fancy brush that can reach the top of my vehicle!" Sure, I get you- you live in an area that gets snow on a nearly annual basis. Multiple times a year. I get you, man. Those brushes are long and don't fit in your car very well. But I bet you own something else. Something magical. Something amazing!!

How amazing? This thing is so amazing that you can use it for different things! It sweeps! It pushes dirt around! It doesn't quite get all of that spilled sugar up onto the dustpan! But I guarantee you that it'll get the snow off your vehicle!

What is that item called?

BEHOLD!! THE MIGHTY BROOM!!

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do have one of those," you say, dejectedly.

I took this simple, humble tool. This common kitchen broom and I used it to take THIS:

His name is STILL Blueberry.

And turn it into THIS:

Lightly dusted Blueberry.

And just HOW did a gimpy, pain-filled, asthmatic, slightly bitchy short woman do this?

Well, it was easy, really. I went "outside" and I approached my truck with the broom in my hand and I started at the top of my truck and worked my way down. I know it might be a little scary at first, but trust me, you can do it. I did it. And there was over eight inches of snow on my truck. Even more than that on the parts where it was drifted. I used my hands and my arms to lift the broom and I walked around my vehicle.

I had feet when I started this.

When I was done, I was a little dusted with snow, but I survived it because it isn't a hard thing to do!! You have no excuse. You don't need fancy tools or implements! You can take a simple household broom to achieve the dream. I have faith in you! YOU CAN DO IT!! Go! Go and get your broom! Take it outside! Use it to brush that snow off your car or truck or minivan or full-size van.

If I could fly with this, I wouldn't
need it to clear the snow off my truck.

I don't want you to be alarmed, but you might get some of the snow ON you when you do this. So, dress appropriately for snow-work. Today, I was wearing jeans, shirt, scarf, jacket, my red Docs, and my awesome mittens.

Those mittens are available at the
Sheepskin Shop at the Bristol Renaissance Faire.
You thought I wouldn't mention it in a post about snow, did you?

"I don't think this is a problem," I hear you say. That means that you're part of the problem! You drive around with thick layers of snow all over your vehicle and you don't care that you can cause problems with that snow. It can affect another driver's visibility. It can literally fly off in chunks, hitting other cars. Maybe you'll get lucky and that huge bit of snow on your roof that has melted slightly will come off in one big sheet and hit the ground. That's great! Till the sun goes down and that humble slab of snow-ice freezes and now you have a road hazard. All because you didn't have the same strength and agility as a mildly gimpy, chronic pain-addled, asthmatic, short and fat chick. Or her stroke-disabled husband. Yeah, he can clear his full-sized truck off using a broom and he does it one-handed. I hope you feel bad about that... because all these people should. And, it turns out, in some places, this is against the law. THE LAW. AGAINST IT.

All photos were taken today, on the drive to/from the grocery store. At stop signs and in the parking lot(s) where I stopped my vehicle to get the photos. I get road rage, I don't cause it... I mean, at least I don't try to cause it.

If you click the picture, it'll get bigger.
That's what she said!
This time, she did say that.

Come on, people. Really? REALLY!?

Well... insert frustrated swear words and sobbing here-

I have to call my knee doctor tomorrow. More on that later. I know you've been waiting to hear about how the Janesville Ren Faire went, so I'm going to do that first, because I was happy there... it was a nice place to be...

The cortisone shot I got in my knee twenty-three days ago (which was about a week or so before the Janesville Faire) worked fantastically through the faire. My knees did not hurt. My only hurt was from my feet and all the standing and walking I had to do. My only hurt on Sunday was from my feet and a little of my lower back because my back was all whiny about having to stand and walk all day.

~Link to the Album of Janesville Faire Photos~

The first day, the heat was somewhat oppressive. It was humid as fuck out, too. I wore my blue "over-archer" bodice with one of the new blue skirts I sewed the previous week. (one skirt is mine, the other is Christine's). The over-archer style of bodice/corset has a collar on it (making it more Victorian than Elizabethan) and it meets in the back sort of in a halter-style (there's a row of grommets, laced like a tiny corset), so the collar bit just LAYS on your neck. Or, my neck. I had four layers of upholstery-weight fabric laying on my neck in the mid-80s temperature and one-billion intensity humidity. That pretty much guaranteed that I won't be wearing it to Bristol this summer.

But, here's a photo of me in the blue medallion over-archer.



And the back view of both my over-archers (blue medallion and "Captain Blood"- with the matching tie-on peplum).



Now, they're gorgeous and I love-love-love the fabric and how the corset/bodice accentuates my curves (because, daaaaammmn, I have a great hip-to-waist-to-bust ratio, even as a fat girl). But with all that humidity, it was uuuugh. And, because it was supposed to rain on Sunday (spoiler, it didn't even rain!) I wore my burgundy courtier.  (here's a photo of me with Jeff, the super-awesome dude I know from the historical reenactor group called GSM-Bristol. They "host" the Janesville Faire).




So, the faire itself was great. Sunday's weather was absolutely gorgeous and it was windy as hell, so the humidity wasn't an issue (I'd have worn my other over-archer had I known it would be that nice). My feet were the usual amount of tired and sore for a faire weekend. But, my fibro wasn't. I told many people that the "new" medicine "seemed to be working" because every time I rave about how good I feel, the medicine stops working. So, at the moment, generic Cymbalta for fibro seems to be holding its own.

On Sunday evening, when I got home from the faire, I had to carry in all my stuff. At the end of a faire day, I take off my bodice and my overskirt, so I end up having to carry my camera basket, my corset/bodice, my overskirt, and my utility belt (I call it that, it's the leather belt with pouches we all almost wear to faire, so we don't have to hand-carry every-fucking-thing). As I went up the steps, I felt my human knee twinge. It was like it was trying to twist itself.

Fuck.

I've spent the last week-ish gimping around, using my goddamn cane sporadically and generally being pissed off about the whole thing.

Saturday, a group of my son's friends asked if I'd take photos of them on their motorcycles, so I did. I was on my feet for almost two hours- my knee was so not happy about it at all. But, the photos were awesome and I even made a couple of the guys do my 365 with me. I haven't uploaded those photos to my Flickr yet, but here's a ~link to the Facebook album~



And then there's today. The "Get to that later" part I mentioned in the first part above.  At around 4 PM, I was walking upstairs to go to the loo (our bathroom is upstairs, and it's the only bathroom in the house and there's nowhere we could add a second one downstairs), and since the Twinge-Knee Incident of May 17th, I've been going up the stairs using only my cyborg knee. I got to the landing and shifted my weight to the human knee to put my cyborg leg on the step and BAM! Sheer, agonizing, blazing-white-hot pain shot through my knee like I'd slipped on the ice and wrenched the shit out of it. I started swearing and sobbing instantly. I shrieked to the Disabled Guy to get me my cane. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything but sob and gasp in pain. And swear. I swore a lot.

After sobbing off most of my mascara (waterproof my ass) and actually getting to the loo, I managed to gimp my way downstairs where I starting icing my knee. A bottle of frozen-solid water behind my knee and a smooshy, bendy blue ice pack over the top and sides of my knee. I've also since taken a bunch of pain meds (because it was close enough to my usual time). There's still pain, but at least I can breathe now. Unfortunately, I'm too fat to know if my knee is swollen or not. I assume it is, it feels like it is.

So, tomorrow morning, I have to call and make another appointment. Clearly the cortisone didn't work.

Now... about those photos...

Here's a few favorites, with my absolute favorite first.



The rest are in no particular order of favor.

"Life's funny sometimes"... but Life is also a jerk sometimes

So, 'sup? Been over a month now. Any news?

*waits*

*waits more*

Oh, wait, that's right. This is my stupid blog and I'm supposed to be sharing news.

I wanted to write some stuff a week or two ago, but I was putting it off because I had a problem. My problem was this- my human knee started to hurt. At first, I couldn't tell if it was a "fibro hurt" or if something more was going on. So, I did what I do best- I tried not to think about it. Guess what? If you guessed "nothing happened", you're right. The pain in my knee varied in intensity. Some days were just a mild ache. Some days were so blindingly painful that I cried from it. Driving became a horrible chore. Pressing down on the gas pedal wasn't so bad, but holding down the brake pedal because so painful I'd white-knuckle grip the steering wheel and contort my face into some pretty epic expressions in an effort to not scream: "OW!MOTHERFUCKINGSONOFABITCHCOCKSUCKER!" (because swearing helps ease pain).

Last week, my daughter asked me to come to her college (a 90 minute drive, made mostly with cruise control and a few cooperative stoplights) to take production photos of the play she's stage managing. So I did. And it was fun (and the play was cool). But, I was up and down and standing and walking for several hours. I didn't really feel the full impact of all that till the next day. The next day when every single moment was agony and I cried and I was in so much pain I couldn't even sit here to process the RAW files. And if you know me, you know that I never let a photo sit without processing. It ended up taking me almost four days to do what should have taken two days. Because of this goddamn human knee. It was that day that I called and made an appointment with my knee doctor. I didn't bother to go through the VA first. If I had, I'd still be waiting for that appointment.

I hate using a cane. It pisses me off. I used a cane for three years and a huge chunk of that time was spent with two canes (I named them "George and Gracie"). So, because I was doing this more often than I wanted, I made that appointment.

My worst fear was that I'd have to get another knee replacement. I had my left knee replaced in 2009 and while it was the best thing that ever happened to me (because it opened up my life and I got to go "out" and do "stuff" and have "fun" like "all the normal people do"), I don't ever want to go through that again. I've given birth to three babies. Without drugs. Two of them in Army hospitals (the middle one was at a civilian hospital because the Army is a dick to families). Three babies, no drugs, and one of them was 11 pounds even and 22 1/2 inches tall. And the knee replacement pain was worse. Much worse.

How much worse? Well, allegedly, women "forget" the pain of labor to go through it again. My kids have 2 1/2 years and 1 1/2 years between them, so I guess in my case, that's true. I had my knee replaced SIX YEARS ago and I STILL remember how much it sucked in the three weeks that followed. Pain and agony and so much work to just get normal enough to get out of the hospital. I stayed for two weeks for in-hospital physical therapy and then I spent two weeks at my parents' fully-handicap-accessible house before coming to my own house. Well, I don't have that luxury anymore (since my parents passed away).

So, I did not want another goddamn knee replacement. I've gone through scenarios in my head on scheduling it after faire season because I'd have six months between Teslacon and Janesville Faire. I only needed five months the last time (I had my knee replacement five months before my first trip to Bristol). But... instead, this is what has happened.

I took two photos of my X-rays. One from pre-replacement in 2009 and one from today.

You'll notice that they're leaning (I did them backwards, they're leaning in, not out). That's partly because I'm so overweight that my thighs are pushing them and partly because I hyper-extend my knees, well, all my joints. Christine hates it when I hyper-extend my fingers, it grosses her out. Jason likes it because he can do it to his elbows and he used to do MMA (mixed-martial arts fighting) and his opponents couldn't make him tap-out with an arm bar. I'm not sure how my oldest- Kat- feels about hyper-extended joints.

So, let's zoom in on these bad boys and I'll show you some things.

Here's the right knee. The yellow arrows are pointing to two bone spurs that have started to grow. The blue arrows are pointing to the bright white line, which indicates that the bones are rubbing and starting to wear down. The purple arrows show the gap between the bones, which means I still have a little bit of cartilage in there.

This is my left knee, from 2009, about a month before my knee replacement. The difference here is that the gap is much smaller. The blue arrows are pointing to the white line (which was all around the entire bone, not just those bits on the edges). The yellow arrows are pointing to the bone spurs that were growing, including a third one on the edge (I could feel that one. I remember that quite vividly).  Those bone spurs were worn down, and one of them may have been broken off. The green arrow is pointing to a folding-over-like edge. Like an ice cream cone is just melting a little, the edge of the ice cream is just holding on. That was all around the bone as well. I have a plastic model of my knee joint around here somewhere and it has all the flat spots and overhang of bone. I didn't point out the gap. As you can see, there's a lot less gap there.

So, it is obvious to me (and the doctor, because he explained it to me) that my right knee is in no way as bad of shape as the left one was. Probably because I saw him within a month of the pain starting. When it happened to the last one, I had to wait for almost two years before I was given the consultation letter to see the surgeon away from the VA. (I can see this doctor now, because my knee replacement was done by him, so everything that happens to my knees now falls under his umbrella of care- that umbrella thing is my own analogy, not the insurance's).

Instead of terrifying me with another total knee replacement, we're doing the cortisone shots. I have "significant arthritis", but not enough for a total knee replacement. He said if it works out, I'll be fine for up to six months. So, what's happen next is a photo of a two-inch long needle. And the one after it is a photo of him pressing the syringe into my knee. I didn't feel it at all. He just jammed it in and there was no pain, no anything. I felt a little tingle when he hit the plunger bit down, but other than that, nothing. And, I know if I end up not feeling any relief in the next week or so, to come in again and we'll do something else (I assume the next step up would be "rooster injections", which are so named because they're made out of rooster waddles. Yes, your "what the fuck?" reaction is entirely appropriate).

So, here's the warning, if you don't like needles or what it looks like when a needle is inserted into the knee to the point you can't see the needle anymore, don't scroll down.

This is the end of the blog for you, as far as your needle hate is concerned.

I'm not going to add any photography stuff to this post because it's already laden with photos. So if you stop now, you won't miss anything but needle stuff.

...

Last warning. 

....

One more warning. 

....

FINAL WARNING!! 

....

Okay, you were warned. Here are the two photos-

And this one- I might use this as my 365 for the day.

What a refreshing change of pace!

Wisconsin weather was doing the usual thing it does this time of year and it triggered a bit of a flareup. What's the thing it does this time of year? That would be shooting up 30° (Fahrenheit) in a 36 hour period, erratic humidity, and then dropping to below-freezing at night. But, the flareup was more of the "drag me to the floor" exhaustion than pain. There was pain, but not as much as a "normal" (haha!) flareup.

"But wait," you say, "You said something was refreshing... well, what was it? WHAT WAS SO GOL'DURNED REFRESHING?!"

Calm down, Shouty Pants. The refreshing bit was arthritis. Yeah. My right hand was sore and a bit achy. ACHY. I had arthritis pain in my hand! Just your normal, run-of-the-mill arthritis pain in my knuckles! My fingers were a bit stiff too. STIFFNESS and PAIN NOT ASSOCIATED with fibro! I was so happy, I almost cried. But instead, I had ice cream.

I'm always amazed when something feels normal. I spend a lot of days weighing my energy levels against the pain/lack-of-pain and how much I need to do. But this last little flareup, I sat down in the living room, on the sofa, covered in Chis (say that out loud!) and found myself rubbing the knuckles on my right hand and my brain didn't automatically go "FUCKIN' FIBRO!" My brain said: "What the hell, man? Arthritis? Why the hell- OH MY GOD! THIS IS ARTHRITIS!"

I tell ya, man, it's the little things.

So, the new medicine seems to be working (as long as I don't fuck with things!) and aside from the mind-numbing exhaustion, the flareups haven't been terrible. I'm also still having pain in my foot from the plantar fasciitis, but it comes and goes. I also still have neuropathy (painful numbness) in that foot, too... but dammit, let's stop with the negativity.

I've got 67 days till the Janesville Renaissance Faire.

I've got 123 days till the start of the Bristol Renaissance Faire.

There are 207 days till the Stronghold Olde English Faire (and my birthday!).

And 214 days till A Gathering of Rogues & Ruffians! (date subject to change)

AND about 255 days till Teslacon!

Whew... those are my standing events. I don't know what else I have going on, but those are the important things.

And yes, I DO happen to have some photos to share. That's the name of the blog- "Pahz Lives with Fibro and Talks about Photography". (although, technically, I should call it "Pahz Lives with Fibro, Talks about Photography, and Never Shuts the Hell Up about Renaissance Faires.". However, the joke's on you! Teslacon is a steampunk event!!)

So, on to some unrelated photos-

Gypsy-



Luna-



Jasper-



Bruno-



And a few shots of the sparrows who live around the house. And in various small openings in the house.