The last three days have been an ever-increasing torture. So much hurts. I wake up and I'm achy. I sit down and I'm achy. I get up from my seat and I'm achy. Each day has gotten a little worse. The second day, I had to drive to Madison for a follow-up with my fibro doctor (she's a rheumatologist). But my appointment was in the afternoon. And this past week and a half, I've been doing the housework by myself, taking care of the dogs by myself, and doing all the running around by myself. The spouse and the son took off to North Carolina where the in-laws are and with Ceej going to school and working, I'm pretty much left with it all. She also has a ton of homework to do, what with two advanced placement classes on her schedule. So the last thing I'm going to ask her to do is the dishes.
But I digress...
Just when I think I have this fibromyalgia thing worked out- what triggers it, how to feel better, what to do to stave off the pain... something changes and then this fibromyalgia beast wrestles me to the ground and kicks me with soft, clown-like shoes. I say that because I've actually been kicked by someone wearing sneakers and that bloody well hurts. This is more like being beaten with firm pillows to the point where you want to stab the person holding the pillow. Its more of a dragging-down-squishing-to-the-floor-can't-get-up-gravity-hurts kind of thing than it is a "beating".
A lot of fibro sufferers will refer to their pain as "being hit by a Mack truck" or "run over" and such. That's a pretty good analogy. But, here's one that's from real life. I mean, because being hit by a Mack truck has a pretty low survival rate, doesn't it? And I thought of this while I was watching a video of the final joust at the Bristol Ren Faire. That all-over body pain... that "widespread pain in the muscles" that is so frequently explained in those drug ads- to me, it feels like being thrown from a horse. I've been thrown from a horse once in my life. I've also been kicked by a horse once in my life. Stepped on too many times to count (hmm, now that makes me wonder if my right foot is worse than my left foot for that very reason). But when I was thrown from that horse, it hurt my hip and my elbow, because that's how I landed. It also hurt my pride damn near instantaneously, but that's another story. I got up, dusted myself off and picked the leaves and grass out of my hair. And I got back on the horse (because you have to!). The next day, I awoke to every muscle in my body aching. My hip and my elbow were bruised and that all-over pain seemed to radiate from those two places. We were out camping and I couldn't take a hot shower to loosen my muscles. I had to basically go through my day with that pain. The next day, it was worse. It wasn't till about three days later that it started to get better. But that's what fibro feels like. It feels like being thrown from a horse and hitting the ground. Gravity is a harsh mistress (so sayeth Patrick Warburton as "The Tick").
Today, I went to lunch with my parents and got to see my photograph hanging inside Denny's (for the second time, I saw it last week for the first time). After lunch, Ceej and I went to the grocery store. Then to conferences (where I had to walk half the length of the school twice and do a lot of standing). And now, I have that all-over-horse-thrown feeling. I ache so badly that when I try to get out of my chair, I have to fight back tears. It truly hurts that much.
BUT!
There is good news!
At my fibromyalgia follow-up, my doctor was quite pleased! I've lost five or six pounds since my last visit (three months ago). I'm also sleeping in longer blocks (I went from 90 minutes/two hours to sleeping four and five hours at a stretch). And from that, I've been having more good days than bad days (well, for the most part. This week was pretty rough, but till now, its been pretty good). She was pleased with my progress and we're going to keep this course for another three months (Unless I feel like its getting worse or not helping anymore, then I can call them and we'll try a different drug). Right now, I take 10 milligrams of Cyclobenzaprine. And now I can take a pill and a half on those rough days (guess what I took today). The doctor was very pleased to hear I went to faire three times this summer (after I explained to her what it was all about and how much walking I did- she was impressed that I lasted about six hours, even in the heat). She did tell me to avoid the heat, but I can't make Bristol change their schedule just for me. I also told her of my plan to get season tickets for next year, so I can go every weekend. I even showed her some of my ren faire photos on my phone (I can get on the Internet on my mobile phone and all those Bristol photos are also on my Facebook). She was quite impressed with what she could see in that 2x2.5 inch Motorola screen. The knights impressed her most (and she said that Maximilian was quite the handsome guy- from seeing this photo of him). I also told her that the girls and I are going to another faire this weekend (Stronghold Olde English Faire). She thinks getting out and going to the faire is a good thing for me.
So there you have it- doctor approved: Renaissance Faires! Huzzah!
She also gave me two book titles I should have a gander at- which I will do as soon as I finish my "Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter" book.
Oh, I almost forgot. Since the disabled guy left and won't be back for my birthday, he told me I could get a new pair of boots for my birthday. That doesn't sound like much, but I wear Dr Martens boots. (or "Docs" as they are lovingly called). The funny thing is- I just got a brand new pair of Docs. Shiny red ones. I love 'em. (pictured below). But, while I was searching the Doc Martens website for shiny red boots, I found some that will be perfect for faire. They're not exactly "ren faire" shoes, but under a long dress, they'll look just fine. Heck, my last pair of "ren shoes" were Earth Shoes from Wal-Mart (they were actually ankle boots). Click this link to see the new boots. But, being as good news as that is, today I got a birthday card from him (and one from Jase). He sent me a check for $50, on top of the boots. So now I have extra spending money for the faire this weekend. And that rocks.
See... I told you there was good news!
Here's my shiny new boots-
I love the new boots! Hmm.. maybe I should go try on some Docs.
ReplyDeleteI agree; I've been thrown from a horse a time or two as well; and that IS a very good analogy for the all-over-ache feeling. Plus, I get the same dragging-exhaustion feeling. Like, I feel I could just fall down at any moment, if I only let go my strength of will for a second. Every step is a conscious thought and noticeable effort.