Sometimes, I do things to myself.

Each month, I have to call an automated phone number, punch in some numbers, punch in my RX#, and I hear one of three things:

1. That prescription is [robot voice]REFILLABLE[/robot voice]. Please allow ten days for delivery.

2. That prescription has [robot voice]EXPIRED[/robot voice]. Press One to request a new order.

3. That prescription is due to be refilled on [robot voice recites date]. Please allow ten days for delivery.

I called in my monthly Vicodin refill and I heard option one.

Ten days comes and goes, but hey, that's okay. I always call two weeks in advance. Then I'm down to three days of Vicodin. So, I cut my dose back by a half-pill (I take two pills at night). Then... Sunday... I ran out. I waited till Tuesday to call the VA because I was hoping it would come in the mail Monday. The VA automated system didn't record my refill request. So, now I'm stuck waiting till next week for my refill of pain meds.

Luckily, the muscle relaxers I'm on keep me from totally tweaking out with withdrawal symptoms.

Today, I had a great idea for some photos. I've done similar photos that I call "Beautifully Broken" where I lay face-down on my deck and take macro shots of flower blooms. And they usually look fantastic. (today was no different, my end result was fantastic). But, It was snowing today. Not much, a lot of little flakes, but they were mostly blowing around in the wind. And it was about 23 degrees Fahrenheit out. I don't know what the wind chill was, but it was windy too.

I was laying on my belly on the damp deck (I swept it clear of snow), wearing three layers (shirt, hoodie, jacket) and taking my photos. When my fingers were so cold I could barely stand it, I decided to go in. (according to my Facebook status, I'd been outside around twenty minutes). I had to roll to my back, sit up, hold onto the deck railing and then stand up. Easier said than done. The damp cold seeped into my muscles and caused them to stiffen.

I finally got to my feet and picked up my supplies (the flowers, the camera, the broom) and then I couldn't go up the steps. I ended up having to slide the flowers (they were in a plastic tray) with the broom along the upper deck. I put the camera in my pocket and then used both hands to pull myself up the steps.

In the time it took me to get inside and update my Facebook status, my muscles were so stiff that I couldn't turn my head. I don't know which friend used it first, but its called "Batman neck".

And no Vicodin.

I took a muscle relaxer at six PM (Vicodin time). It didn't do much for the muscle tightness or the pain. (well, duh, it isn't a pain reliever). Three hours had passed since I came back inside. At 730 PM, I took another. And finally, at 830, I felt some relief.

This pain I'm in... I did it to myself. But the end result was worth it. ~Clicky-click~ Today's work starts near the bottom, the roses. Those aren't the only photos from today, but they're the only ones I'm making visible for now.