Tuesday, March 1, 2011

What sweet hell is this? It feels like last June...

June 28, 2010, I was officially diagnosed with fibro and a few weeks later, I got the first pills in the mail. Shortly after I started taking those pills (Cyclobenzaprine), I started to feel better. And of course, those pills started to be less efficient and they switched the pills to the current ones- Gabapentin.

I've been having a lot of good days. I feel better, I sleep pretty good now- not great, but way better than I did a year ago. Every once in a while, I have a bad day. But most days are tolerable. In fact, I was telling the people at the eye store- yeah, the eye store, shut up, I've had my drugs- yesterday about fibro. Ceej had to get new glasses and was doing her usual song-and-dance about finding frames. I told them (hey, they asked because they know us there) that my tolerable days are around a four on that pain scale. Tear-inducing days I'd call a ten. Really good days are two. I haven't had a pain-free day in far too many years. I can't even remember what pain-free feels like.

Well, today is one of those bad days. I was almost in tears. I hate that word- "almost". I didn't cry because whenever the tears would start, I'd clench my eyes closed and stop moving till the urge to cry went away. I woke up feeling this shitty today. I spent most of the night being either shoved out of bed or having the back of my head snored at. (the disabled guy's snoring is comparable to a lawnmower- not an exaggeration). I finally got out of bed at 4 AM instead of trying to wrestle my way back onto the sliver of mattress that is my side of the bed.

Everything aches. Everything. My skin hurts, my muscles are sore. I have the trademark "flu-like" symptoms. I also feel like my muscles are being pulled tight. My legs hurt so much that it feels like my bones are trying to escape through my skin. Sitting down feels better, not much though. And nothing is making this feel better. I've been taking my pills directly on schedule. There's no reason for this day. My clothes made me hurt.

I suppose the bright side to this is that my skin isn't itchy. At least not like it has been before. That whole "a thousand hairy-legged spiders trying to claw their way out through my pores" itchy.

I hate to do it, but I'm going to skip my walk tomorrow. Especially if I wake up feeling like this again. I'd hate to get down the street and have to call home for a ride. How lame is that? I could probably just wave my arms and call out in a loud voice for a ride home.

In other lame news, for some reason, all the bad skin I didn't get in high school has come to visit me in my forties. I don't know whose idea it was for this to suddenly appear ON MY FACE, but this should stop, seriously. Because of this sudden onslaught of High School Freshman Face, my 365days self-portraits have taken an adult turn. That's right, it is Cleavage Week on my 365days. My cleavage never lets me down. Even on bad days. (also, I checked online, it doesn't seem to be a side effect from the Gabapentin).

I have no idea what is going on. I don't know if the weather is changing or what. But I do not like this. Who would?

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