Sunday, May 22, 2011

I'm all whiny...

If you could hear my voice, you would hire Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick me in the back of the face. That's how whiny I'm feeling. You know the kind of whine it is- long, draaaaawn-out words. A bit of a nasal sound to it, mixed with my husky, manlike voice. Mix in an occasional arm-flailing, you got me on a bad day.

As we all know, because I know you all take notes and follow the minutiae of my day- last week, I went to a small, two-day renaissance faire. I had fun. And I paid for it on Monday, the day I had to go to my daughter's college, and again on Tuesday. So very sore.

I started to feel better on Wednesday and then... Wednesday night... bam! Insomnia-lite. The Vicodin and the muscle relaxer gave out and I was there, wide awake, staring at the glitter-covered ceiling in my room. You didn't know that, did you? My entire house, kitchen included, has that sprayed-on stucco crap with the glitter in it. It looks nice for about seventeen minutes and then the dust sticks to it and the glitter eventually falls off. But I digress...

I was up till five in the morning on Thursday. I slept for a few hours and then got up again. I'm pretty sure that those nerves that are connected to my muscles don't like it when I "do" things. You know, things like walking around and having fun. (that other sentence, that was from an annoying drug commercial where the woman says: "I learned that connected to our muscles are nerves..." Really? You "learned" that, did you? Wow. I took biology in middle school too!)

Friday... humid.
Saturday... huuuuuumid.
Today... enter the whine.

Every muscle you can imagine hurts. My hands and arms are so sore I feel like I've been digging holes or something. You may not know this, but I use my hands and arms everyday! I use them to type, to pick things up, to hold onto railings... really, they're important to me. My legs are sore, but if I'm not standing, well, who cares, right?

Every morning since I switched back to the muscle relaxers is an experiment in pain. Everything hurts. My skin is achy, my muscles feel bruised. My hair brushing across my skin feels strange. OH, and my fucking foot... I have no feeling in the skin on the top of my right foot along my big toe and the second toe. When I have my sneakers on (I have a pair of the no-name-brand "Shape-ups"), the pain is a fiery experience in a numbing pain. I had no idea that pain could also be numb. I didn't know that "to lose feeling" would cause so much agony. (it's more than likely neuropathy and I'm already getting the pain treatment, so as long as things are still working, I'll mention it at my appointment next time. Not worth trying to get a sooner appointment).

Let's picture a red-hot railroad spike... now picture it being hammered into the top of your foot, between your big toe and second toe. Now walk around. Yeah, you can see where the whiny is coming from.

I've got my shiny red Docs on right now. And they're not hurting me, at least, not as much as they do when I have the sneakers on.

And because I have no real way to end this, I'm going to show a photo of my shiny red Doc Martens.

219- original


  1. RAWR. Pain sucks so bad. Humidity just makes it worse. And people who tell you "it's not so bad" just make me want to start stabbing them in the eyeballs.

  2. I'm with ya on the stabbing them in the eyeballs!