Sunday, June 5, 2011

My right foot... and some kind of angry ranting that has nothing to do with my foot.

I finally added the word "fibromyalgia" to my Google Chrome spell check because it kept coming up as a misspelled word. Then I had to add it with the "F" capitalized because that was still misspelled. I should also add "fibrofuckingmyalgia" because that's the proper way to say it. And if you don't agree, then you have never felt the full brunt of it yourself.

Onto my right foot.

A few weeks ago, I got myself a pair of shoes that are similar to the name brand... they help you "shape up" your body merely by wearing them and walking around. I figured they'd be good to build up my thigh muscles. My quadriceps are shot. My right leg is from the knee injury (the eighth or ninth in 20 years that set off this whole debacle). It never really healed properly and I spent three years unable to use it to go up and down stairs. My left one is shot because of the delay in recovering from my knee replacement that was caused by the fibrofuckingmyalgia. Basically, my thighs are weak. Which sucks because I used to have great legs. (I also used to ride a bike everywhere, back before it was all hip and cool to do it).

So, I got myself these shoes, thinking it was a great way to start building my thigh muscles. And it would have been. One day, while wearing them, I was at my parents' house. I typically stay for about an hour or two, no biggie, just visiting. The top of my right foot started to hurt. A lot. A burning, stabbing pain. I thought it was the position I was sitting in, because I was in an armchair. I normally sit in my computer chair or on our sofa. The armchair was a little higher than I'm used to. I went from their house to the grocery store. And the pain got worse and worse. When I hit the pavement outside the store, I took my shoes off. I walked back to my truck in my sock feet.

Then it kept happening, but I wasn't putting it together with the shoes. They felt fine in all other aspects. I don't know how long it took, but the skin on my foot went numb. If I run my fingers across it, I couldn't feel it. But if I pressed down, I could feel the pressure under my skin. So whatever it was, it was nerve-related and surface only. I did some Google-searching and discovered "neuropathy" and it has a connection to the fibrofuckingmyalgia. Great, I thought. Just another thing to add to the list of fucked-up things that happen with this ridiculous disease.

Last week, our weather decided it was time to throw Summer temperatures at us full blast. I went two days straight without going outside (except to take the dogs out) and I didn't put on any shoes. The pain in my foot went away. The numbness stayed, but it wasn't painful at all. And on the third day, I wore my boots. It was when I put those shoes on again that I realized that was the problem.

I have no idea why those shoes hurt that way or cause that type of numbness. My daughter can wear them and she's fine. The numbness is slowing disappearing. In that needle-y, tingling, painful, wake-up kind of way. Plus, it itches. In that numb-on-top kind of way. So now I'm back to doing deep knee bending to try and strengthen my quads and hamstrings. I look ridiculous doing them, but when do I not look ridiculous these days?

As for the fibrofuckingmyalgia, it's still doing what it does best- making me fucking miserable. The weather changes are kicking me around, like usual. The heat and humidity is doing what it can to push me to the floor and beat me with a giant wet spaghetti noodle. I end up sore, sweaty and reeking of wet noodles.

I'm still taking the muscle relaxers at night (along with the Vicodin). Every day, my muscles feel achy and tight and they downright hurt when I try to stretch. As the day goes on, my muscles feel tighter and tighter. Then about an hour after I take my muscle relaxers, they go soft for a bit. I can feel the muscle relaxers start to wear off. It's very disconcerting. And every time I see that TV ad where that chick says, "I learned we have nerves connected to our muscles..." I want to punch a baby. Really? Nerves? Wow! I took 9th grade science class too!

I have one month to get this sleep thing worked out. In one month, Bristol Ren Faire opens and I can't have nights like this on a Friday or Saturday. I have to go to faire. I refuse to miss out because my body has decided that had to have this stupid disease. Also, it pisses me off that I'm almost embarrassed to tell people about it. Like they're not going to believe me. Fibromyalgia- real disease. And if you don't think that it is a real disease, I hope you get it. Yeah, you read that right, I'm wishing someone who thinks people are faking it would get this themselves. Then we'll talk about faking things, barometric pressure, and pain medicine.

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