Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The rain brings pain mainly to my... well, I'm not a poet.

June 15th. Wednesday. The dogs were freaking out, around four AM. Why? Thunderstorm. The dogs do not like the thunder. And who could blame them, really? They don't know what it is, they just know it's loud, they can feel it in their paws when it happens, it rattles the house and they have no clue who is doing it to them. So, I trudged downstairs and tried to sleep on the sofa.

I was covered in Chis (say it out loud) and had the German Shepherd half-laying on my legs and feet. Her other half was hogging space on the sofa. And if you know fibro, you know that the lack of sleep mixed with the weather changes and humidity... well, it makes for much pain. Add to that the tiny, pointy paws of four Chihuahuas- one that weighs fourteen pounds (he's a freak, don't judge him!) and a 75 pound German Shepherd using my lower half as a pillow... you can imagine that I hurt. I'd call today a 9 on that 1 to 10 pain scale. Six or seven, if I don't move.

And with the hurt- which is the all over flu-like muscle pain, with some focal areas (my shoulder and my hip, for instance)- my skin is all itchy. That burning, under-the-skin itch. And fatigue. The exhaustion. I felt so physically worn out, like I'd just worked all day in the hot sun. You know, when your body is spent, but your mind is still awake and going a hundred miles an hour. Yet, when 6 AM rolled around and I had to take the dogs out, I took my camera with me.

Then again at around 1030 AM, the camera, the dogs.

And then around 530 PM, I took the camera outside again. In the morning, I took about 25 shots. In the mid-morning, around a dozen. In the late afternoon, 29! Yeah, I took more than sixty photos on a day that I felt like absolute shit.

After each "photo session", I uploaded my photos, edited and resized them for the Facebook page, and put them into an existing album. But when I got through the 29 evening photos, I decided to put them all in one place, for easier sharing. Despite the pain, in spite of the pain- whichever you prefer- I went outside and stood there, happily snapping photos. It took the focus off the pain and even though I felt absolutely horrid, I still felt like I accomplished something. I did something good and now I share it with you.

The June 15th "In your FACE, PAIN!" Macros This damn disease may drag me down, cause me to move slower, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to let it stop me. I refuse to let it stop me. There is no "play through the pain", there's just "do"... and that's all I'm doing.

I refuse to let it win.

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