"Take it easy on days with flareups", "Don't overdo on days you feel good"...

But if you exercise, you'll feel better!

What?

Really?

We're supposed to take it easy on flareup days. Like we have a goddamn choice, right? And we're not supposed to do too much on days we feel good, lest we end up paying for it the next day (or later that day or ten minutes from now, not now, but now. NOW!). And we're constantly told if we take part in a regular exercise routine, we'll feel better.

So... which is it?

I already don't do much on those days I'm having a flareup. And that's not a choice. I sometimes cannot sit upright from the pain. Sometimes, I'll start out the day fine and end up curling into a question mark that whines a lot. I don't have a choice in "taking it easy". When I'm in full-blown flareup mode, I can't do much of anything. Sure, there are days when I'm having a flareup that I push myself through. There are some things that can't wait- cooking dinner, going to the store, whatever else it is that one does when one's adult-aged kids no longer live at home and the spouse is disabled.

And then we have the good days. The days where I want to run down the street shouting: "I FEEL ALIVE! ALIIIIIIIIVE!!! ALIVE!" and leap over fallen trees and small children. But I'm told not to. I'm told to take it easy and not overdo things. I get the logic. If I feel good and I try to cram as much activity into my day as possible, it can come back on me and cause me days of agony. I've lived through that (ren faire season, anyone?) in real time.

Most of us can feel a flareup coming on. And we know that we need to chill when that happens. I know when I feel an impending flareup, I try to take it easy. (for some reason, I keep thinking about the Eagles, weird). I don't want to do anything to hasten the arrival of said flareup. Because maybe I can keep it from becoming a full flareup. Just maybe...

And the doctors... "You will feel better if you exercise on a regular basis..."

How am I supposed to do that? I'm taking it easy on days I don't feel good. I'm taking it easy on days when I feel good, so I don't trigger a flareup. And I'm taking it easy on those borderline days that might lead to a flareup. When the hell am I supposed to exercise? When am I supposed to go to the grocery store? What about dinner? I don't know about you, but we can't afford to order takeout on those days when I don't feel like cooking. Contrary to popular belief, the Disabled Guy can cook, but he can't cook a lot. He hates to cook- you would to if you only had the use of one hand and brain damage that makes multitasking nearly impossible.

Basically, I should be floating in a salt water solution inside a sensory deprivation tank till those times when I need to get up and do stuff. But even that won't work. I have tinnitus. If I were to float in a sensory deprivation tank, the loud, incessant buzzing in my only hearing ear would drive me mad in an hour.

And just how am I supposed to take photos if I just sit here, taking it easy? Those photos don't take themselves, you know. I actually have to get off my ass and hold up that camera.

I suppose I should get to work on that whole levitation thing.