Monday, March 4, 2013

Day three of this flareup with no end in sight...


I've been released upon this planet without the proper coping mechanisms. Why would my leaders allow me to live in this extreme gravitational situation? This planet's gravity is so harsh that sometimes, I curl into what the inhabitants refer to as "a question mark". They have a name for this here and it seems there are more of us "visiting" than we originally thought.

The planet's medical personnel seem to think this can be helped with small, white, powdery substance that has been pressed into a dry capsule. You know, just like the four-course meals Mom used to make back on our home planet... oh, memories! I've had a steady level of these "pills" in my system since nearly three days ago. On what the Earthlings call "Saturday" at "6 AM", I took two of these pills. And I refreshed my levels every six hours... till today.

It seems that those "pills" alter my ability to function just enough that I can't operate their crude transportation devices with enough safety. They do little for this intense gravitational pull, however. And yet, when I don't take them, gravity intensifies.

This strange condition localizes itself in different places on my humanoid form. Some days, I have an all-over kind of pain. Like when we had that battle on the Splearge planet with the Tandonites... I'm sure you remember that. If not, you learned about it in history class. Other days, the pain intensifies in one localized place- sometimes the hands, sometimes the feet. Those are four of the most-used humanoid tools! Yes, four. You see, they only have two hands and two feet. These beings are a strange bunch. This condition lends itself to slightly more intermittent but no less painful conditions. One leads to intense localized pain and slight numbness in one of the feet. I know what you're thinking- how can there be numbness WITH pain? I don't know how to explain it to you. You need to come down to this planet to experience it for yourself.

If I could only get a piece of our planet and hold it near to me, I know I would feel better. Much like Kal-El, that bastard got a lucky break, didn't he? "Oh, look at me in my humanoid form on Earth! I can fly and stop bullets with my spit-curl" or something like that. Yeah, till someone threw a meteorite of your planet at you. Then you turn into some weird little kitten. At least he's not in pain...

I declare that this planet is a terrible place and it would not be worth our time to invade. Please send a rescue shuttle at the earliest possible convenience. I'll keep chewing down these powdery capsules and hope for some relief. I seem to have kept one ability from home- I heal from injury quite rapidly. The problem from that includes a severe itching sensation and a rapid tightening of the small muscles in the area of the injury.

Again, I beg of you to please send a rescue shuttle. I cannot take this much longer.


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