Here we are... middle of the night again...

So, I'm taking 20 mgs of this Amitriptyline crap. Yes, it's crap. It isn't helping. It does nothing for the pain and it absolutely does nothing for the sleep. I am wide-the-fuck-awake right now. I haven't slept good in weeks. As I increased the dose of this medicine, I had to decrease the dose of muscle relaxers because I'm apparently not supposed to take them together. So, I'm on this useless-as-Tic-Tacs shit medication and NOT on the muscle relaxers. Granted, the muscle relaxers weren't doing a great job anymore (judging by my posts in the early Spring through the start of Summer), but when I took them, THEY RELAXED MY MUSCLES. Not always perfectly, but now that I'm not on them, I can feel every goddamned twinge in my muscles. Every ache. Every pull. Every single muscular movement that could turn into a motherfucking Charlie Horse.

You ever have a Charlie Horse? You know that sudden, stabbing, searing, agonizing, pull-the-muscle-from-the-bone-like-a-tender-turkey-slow-roasted-in-Aunt-Sandy's-oven pain... Now imagine having one of those in your goddamn arm. Or back. Or even your abdominal muscles. How about a slow pulling pain? Like if you took a rubber band and pulled it slowly, slowly, slowly till it was at the limit of its flexibility... now pretend that rubber band is your goddamn muscle. Yeah. Sucks, don't it?

This is my third middle-of-the-night episode in about two weeks' time. And these are getting less fun as they go along. I suppose the good thing I can say is that I'm not swollen anymore. I mean, when I do swell, it's the "normal" amount. Meaning that I do still have the same "unexplained" edema I've always had, but I no longer have that all-over body swelling that always left me with flippers instead of feet. At the end of the day, my feet look normal.

Let me tell you something rather ridiculous... I was actually sick with something that had NOTHING to do with fibro! The weekend of October 11th and 12th was A Gathering of Rogues & Ruffians, my last ren faire for the season. (I still have Teslacon, but that's not a ren faire). On Saturday, before we left, I became rather unwell. I spent approximately forty minutes in and out of the bathroom, never straying too far from a receptacle, lest my body purge the contents of the last six months.

But, I soldiered on, because, goddammit, I'd rather be miserable at the faire than be miserable at home. Around 1 PM, it became obvious that what I had was a case of food poisoning and I had to leave the faire. I haven't left a faire early since 2009, when I left the Janesville Faire after my shift at the new age shop ended (I did tarot card readings at a new age shop's tent there). That was less than two months after my knee replacement surgery. So, now I've left GRR to go home. I took a wee bit of a nap (about an hour and a half, broken into twenty minute increments, because why the fuck not?) and while I was awake and laying in bed trying not to die, I felt relieved. I was relieved to feel something in my body that was NOT fibro. Food poisoning pain is a totally different kind of pain than that of fibro. Around 7 PM that day, I felt a wave of relief. I could feel the effects of the food poisoning wearing off. I ate soup!

Long story short- I made it through all day Sunday at the faire, but mostly because I didn't eat anything and I drank water and Sprite.

That leaves us up to date on the goings on in my life. Fibro still fucking sucks. Food poisoning doesn't give a damn if you have fibro or any kind of obligation. This medication doesn't work for shit and I feel terrible all the goddamn time now. And yes, there are photos of A Gathering of Rogues and Ruffians... because even when I'm sick as hell, I will do the job I'm expected to do.

So, I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow, tell her how terrible life is, beg for a change, and get through the next two weeks and go to Teslacon because TESLACON! While I'm doing that, enjoy this selection of photos from the 2014 Gathering of Rogues and Ruffians.