Oh, Gabapentin, you silly goose!

If you read the last post about the snafu in my medicine refill, you also know that I have a brand new bottle of Gabapentin on its way to me.

Except there's a problem...

In the time I was tapering myself off the Gabapentin because I was running out, I discovered that it was making me swell up. How? Because as I was taking less and less of it, I was swelling less and less till I wasn't swelling hardly at all. Now, I already have an issue with "unexplained edema", so I didn't realize that the Gabapentin was causing me to swell more. When I got to the point where I was taking 200 mgs once a day, I went three straight days without swelling. And I'd even had potato chips with lunch one day.

So, I called the VA hospital, left a message with the human at the phone and within the hour the doctor herself called back! I know! I was shocked too! She asked if I still had any of the Cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxer) and I did. So I'm back on that for now and I have a follow-up in June. From there we'll go with either Lyrica or Cymbalta. Whichever one of those the VA says I can have. I've been off the Gabapentin for almost a week and I've only swelled up like a normal person who stood too long would.

Last weekend was the Janesville Ren Faire and I went both days (small, two-day faire; no jousting). I worked the first day from 10 to 4 and spent about an hour walking around talking to people before going home. The second day, my daughter, Ceej, went with me. We were there from before opening (we were about 20 minutes early) till almost 5 PM. We had a good time, of course. The first day was cloudy with a tad bit of rain. The second day, the clouds disappeared, the sun came out, but it remained incredibly windy.

I did good. My feet were the only problem. My body didn't ache too much. Till Monday. On Monday, we had to go to Ceej's college for her orientation/scheduling/boring thing. I was not only exhausted, but so sore I could barely stand. The pain in my right foot was so horrible that I had to elevate it on a chair during the "boring" part of the day. We went from there to my other daughter's home (she lives in the same town) and had dinner then went home.

Tuesday- pure pain hell for me. My feet (the right one, especially) were screaming. My body was the "thrown-from-horse" all-over sore. Today, the rain came back and so I've got that exhaustion thing going on too.

But, the weekend was good. We had a good time. I took almost 120 photos, three videos and bought two CDs. I also saw lots of faire friends and was quite surprised when a couple of them remembered me from other faires. One in particular, because he must meet a hundred new people every day he's at a faire.

~Link to Flickr Photos~

~2 Merry Men on Facebook~ (one of my CD purchases)

~Water Street Bridge~ (the other CD purchase)

This is part of what you miss when you don't go to the ren faire.



So, the next time you think to yourself: "Bah, ren faires are for NERDS!" remember, the nerds are getting to ogle boobshelves of all shapes and sizes. And you're not. Go to the ren faire, you'll have fun.

Snafu equals FUBAR

I grew up in the military. I knew what those things were before normal people used them on a regular basis. What's my snafu that has things totally FUBAR? ("FUBAR", for those who don't know, is "Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition")... my fibro medicine.

Remember that new dose of Gabapentin I was going on about a few weeks ago? I finally got the pills in the mail- 100 mgs to take with my 300 mgs. In the same way, I start with adding it to one dose- the evening one- so it would be one dose at 400 mgs, then two 300 mg doses. Then after a week, add it to another, so it would be 400 mgs, then 300, then 400. And after all that was dandy, take it with the midday dose and be 400 mgs across the board. Except, two days after I got the 100 mg capsules in the mail, I noticed I was running low on the 300 mgs. I called the VA pharmacy to ask if they were coming, or if they had even been ordered. They were not and they had not. The pharmacist was cool about it and transferred me to the proper extension and I told my story to the person just as we're supposed to do in this situation. That person (a nurse) did her job and put the request in and then we waited...

During this waiting, I started to cut back my doses, because we're not supposed to up and stop taking Gabapentin suddenly. I cut it back to the 300 mgs for three doses, then I cut the midday dose. After a week of that, I cut the morning dose down to 200 mgs so I was taking that in the AM and 300 mgs in the PM. Now I'm down to 100 mgs in the AM and 200 in the PM.

After ten days (standard prescription waiting time and I was on two 300 mg doses still), I called the VA to see what was up with the whole thing. Apparently, nothing. Some sort of fucking glitch in their computer system or something completely fucked me over. And it fucked me over hard and without buying me dinner first. And during this time, my sleep has been completely screwed up. I can't sleep because every time I move, it hurts and I wake up. Or my skin itches so bad I can't lie still enough to fall asleep. So much for exercising to lose any fucking weight.

That phone call was on Monday. They said they'd call me back. They did. On Wednesday. There was some initial miscommunication but now it's squared away and the 300 mgs should be on it's way to me within a few days (if it goes well, I'll have it by the end of next week, but I'll believe it when I see it). So, that little snafu has FUBAR'd my fucking fibro treatment. And my sleep is FUBAR.

Gravity has been pulling me down extra hard. The air makes my skin hurt. My entire body is a sensitive bruise. To compare, men, think about getting kicked in the balls. Yeah, that hurts, right? Now, think about the next few days... how when you're sitting in a chair and you move your leg and your Levi's brush against your jiggly bits. That shudder of pain you feel? That's what my entire body feels like right now. I still prefer my analogy of being thrown from a horse. In the last week, though, I've come to realize that it only works for people who have been thrown from a horse and of those people, it only works if they don't get thrown from a horse on a regular basis.

"Wait," I hear some of you saying, "You know people who get thrown from horses on a regular basis? What's that, rodeo cowobys?"

Nope. Much cooler. And those of you who know me- say it with me- jousting knights. Yeah, I know people who joust for a living. And for them, getting "thrown" from a horse is all part of the job. One of my favorite knights- Sir Mauldron (not his real name)- was thrown from a horse the other day. Face-planted right in the jousting field. Blood and all. He bled real blood in the theatrical joust. But to him and people like him, getting thrown from a horse doesn't hurt them all that much.

They're much tougher than I am. The last time I was thrown from a horse, I was sore for days afterward. Of course, when I was thrown, I got right back on the horse and continued riding- which is what you're supposed to do. And here I sit, in itchy, pain-filled agony, telling you this nonsensical story about how much I fucking hurt and how much I love jousters. Because even though I'm up in the middle of the night and the Vicodin hasn't put any kind of dent in the pain, I'm still getting on that horse again. I'll get up tomorrow and do whatever it is I do. Because I have to.

The Janesville Renaissance Faire is this weekend and I will not miss out on that. It's the start of the faire season and I'm going to see faire friends I haven't seen since October. And I won't let this "invisible" disease keep me from enjoying myself.

Oh, by the way, part of what I do every day is this- Pahz Photography

And then there's this- The World According to Mauldron

Oh, and I do some photo work for Shake Hands With Danger Radio

So a majority of what I do every day can be done from this computer chair. I'd rather be on horseback... at least I'd have a reason for feeling this fucking sore and exhausted all the time.

I took a walk today

After last week's zombification after taking a midday pill, I went back to taking just two pills- one in the morning, one in the evening. Today (a week later), I took another midday pill. It didn't send me into the walking-dead mode that it did last week, but I could feel it. I wouldn't drive at this point, taking that midday pill. But I did go for a walk.

I have this great idea for a photo. It probably isn't even all that original, but to do it, I have to drive over to the place to do the photo. And one thing led to another and my truck was blocked in the driveway. To hell with it, I figured, might as well try the midday pill again.

Then, for some unknown reason, I put my boots on and decided to go for a walk. I took my camera, of course, but I didn't take a lot of photos. Overall, the walk was okay. It was uphill most of the way. And there was hardly any clear concrete. The city uses a snowblower on the public sidewalks and the neighbors between here didn't go down to the concrete after the last snowfall. But it wasn't bad. My feet hurt most of the time, of course. I got to see a goshawk attacking some smaller birds- I assume they were starlings because they were noisy and all moved in unison till the goshawk came around. I couldn't get any photos of the goshawk because he was just that fast. By the time I had my camera out and turned on, he was done terrorizing them. (and of course, I didn't want to carry my camera in my hand as I walked because if I fell down, I wouldn't want to damage the camera or myself in an attempt at not damaging the camera).

I paced myself and took short steps. Quite a difference from the long-striding, fast-pace walking I did not so long ago. Back when I could slam out four miles in about an hour and ten minutes then do a half hour of yoga. *heavy sigh* The good old days.

I made it home unscathed and a little chilly. The wind was at my back on the way out and it was blowing in my face on the way back. But I was glad for that because then I didn't get overheated. Of course, that would have been difficult what with the 15° Fahrenheit temperature (not including whatever the wind chill was at the time).

About two hours later, I ended up taking a Vicodin (just one) because I felt my muscles tightening up. But still, not bad. Also, the midday Gabapentin did cause a little tiredness, but not the falling-over-tiredness I had last week.

So, here we are, about seven hours later and I'm stiff. I feel like I just pulled a sled over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. Interestingly enough, I did walk halfway to my parents' house... and it was over the hill. I didn't get anywhere close to the river though.

But I digress. Here are the photos I took today. Enjoy.

This was about halfway up the hill. I live down the hill and about a block to the right. You can't see my house anymore. The Goshawk Incident happened across the street, in those twiggy bushes on the right side of the photo.



This one is almost to the top- almost because at the top you can't really see the hill at all. There's a tree in the distance between the two trees closer to where I was standing... that's where the first photo was taken.



At the top, I was greeted with the sight of not only flat ground, but the city was piling snow up in the parking lot of the park. I'm in a couple of snowplow-centric groups on Flickr, so I take photos of snowplows and other snow removal equipment when I see it. I don't get the appeal of it, but I guess people don't get the appeal of what I take photos of either, so who am I to judge? Anyway, I took some photos of the front-loader that was piling up the snow. A couple of city plow trucks came and went while I was walking (to dump snow) and one of them apparently recognized me from the other times I snapped photos, because he waved at me as he drove by while I was going downhill.



Today would have been a great day to get the photo I have the idea for because it was snowing.



And this is my Day 363 of 365 (yup, I'm almost done with my first year). From where I'm standing, the plow activity was happening to the left of the photo and far behind me (yay for a zoom). I put my sunglasses up on my head to show my eyes because I've been curtly informed that hiding my eyes behind sunglasses is strictly forbidden!




I took this on the way back down the hill (one of two, actually). Those leaves have hung on through several snowstorms and some crazy high wind conditions. Hang on a little while longer, guys, Spring's a-comin'!



Oh, there's my house. I'm almost home. My feet were killing me almost the entire time. The snow on either side of the sidewalk was varying heights from knee to mid-torso. The drifts were crazy in that last big storm. Today was nothing, a mere dusting. But it looked pretty as it fell.



I hope to do this three times a week. I have my two-year follow-up with my knee surgeon in about a month's time. It would be nice to have something to show for all his work. It was the surgery (we assume) that triggered the fibromyalgia flareup that was too huge to ignore. So I should thank him for that because had I not gotten my knee replaced, I might still be undiagnosed and suffering. And if I do this three times a week, at my next fibro follow-up, I'll have a significant amount of weight loss to show for it.

Also, if I can keep this up and increase (eventually) to every day... this summer at the ren faire will be, literally, a walk in the park.

I have good news...

But first!

No! No "but", just tell us!

No, I can't. There's a but and its first...

Gabapentin... it has a few slight side effects that I can live with- but they're worth mentioning. After I started taking it twice a day, I noticed that I get a slight headache from it. But, that seems to have passed, so it may be a temporary thing. And by that, I mean that for the last two days, I haven't had a headache after I take the morning Gabapentin dose.

The other side effect seems to be the dry mouth. Don't bother making suggestions, they don't work for me (I've tried them all, including "Biotene" which tastes awful and doesn't work).

I also seem to get inexplicably cranky and unmotivated about forty-five minutes to an hour after I take it. It doesn't last, but its annoying. And who can tell "mild crankiness" from "peri-menopausal mood swing"? I can... but I live in my body and you don't.

So, two mild side effects... and crankiness. overall, not that bad.

Now on to the good news...

Finally! Geez, lady!

But first... NO!... I'm kidding, here's the good news...

It seems to be working. I've been taking it for two weeks (Friday morning will be two weeks and the day I start taking it three times a day) and in those two weeks, I can't recall having that under-the-skin itching that I routinely get, especially with the weather changes. As each day has gone on, I've felt less fatigued and far less sore than usual. (isn't that sad? That "all-over body pain" has to become "the usual"). The true test to this was this week, really.

You may have heard how America was "crippled" by this massive snowstorm. And some places have been. Some places have been slaughtered by snow for the past two months and this just adds more on top of it. And some places aren't used to this kind of snow and it really does cripple their towns. Well, for us in Southern Wisconsin- that is to say, away from Lake Michigan because I heard they got more snow than us- its just winter. This storm didn't seem any more rough than any other winter storm we've had.

Anyway... Obviously, I didn't shovel the snow. No way, no how. I did my time shoveling in the first ten years we lived here. Its their turn now. (and by them, I mean the disabled guy and the boy- who will be 19 on Tuesday). But, I did trek outside and take loads of photos. I know you didn't expect anything less.

After a few "ooh, look at the snowdrift" shots, I waded out into the big drift in front of our house to see what would happen. I got to about mid-thigh before I got stuck. So, while there, I took some photos. Then I had to un-stick myself and go back up to the house. All the photos from this ridiculously labeled "Snowpocalypse 2011" that I took are available at this link...

And if you don't want to go through the 106 photos and three videos that are in that set, below are the "me stuck in the snow" photos I took.

This is when I realized I was stuck in the snow...



My legs-are-stuck shots...







My legs, covered in snow...





The Disabled Guy and The boy-



So, why is this important?

Because last night, when I'd sit down for an extended period of time, I'd stiffen up. Just like "normal". When I woke up this morning, I could barely move. I was stiff and sore and achy, as if I'd been shoveling. I even mentioned it on the joint-replacement message board I frequent. It was around mid-morning when I realized something... I had to go to the bank to pay some bills and thought, "I gotta take my camera..." so I could go to the park and take some winter photos... And it was then I realized I didn't hurt anymore. I didn't ache all over like I did a few hours earlier when I woke up.

This medicine is working. I still ache and the end of the day is still the tired-achy end of the day... but it isn't ALL DAY and that's what we're going for!

I took some photos of the river. It was cold and I had to trudge through some snow to get the shots. Those photos are in that linked-to set above.

But here's my favorite from today-

New medicine...

I got the Gabapentin in the mail today. So I'll be starting it tonight (she states, quite obviously). I sure hope it works. I'm not hating what I'm reading about it. I did a Google search for "Gabapentin for Fibromyalgia" and read some stuff from 2007 when it was declared a new medicine to help fibro pain. And this link.

The study included 150 participants, 90% of whom were women (there is a higher rate of incidence of fibromyalgia in women compared to in men). The study randomly assigned dosages of Gabapentin or placebo to participants for a 12-week period. The effectiveness of the drug was based on the following categories:

sleep
mood
life quality
fatigue
stiffness
tender point pain in the shoulders

Individuals taking daily drug dosages of 1200 to 2400 mg displayed significantly lower levels of widespread pain compared with those taking placebo, as well as improved sleep and reduced fatigue.

So, there you have it. I will definitely keep you posted. I'm supposed to start with one pill at night for a week, then go to two- one in the morning, one at night, and eventually to three a day. I hope I'm not too groggy or out of it. That's all we'd need. Me, loose on the Internet, out of my mind on pain meds.

I mean, uh... more than usual.