Without these things, I would probably have gone off the deep end...

**Spoiler Alert**
When I got done adding the photos to the end of this blog post, my mood was so much better than when I started typing it. So, I got that going for me right now.
**End Spoiler**

My doctor called me on Tuesday. I was considering calling them, adding up in my head how long I'd been on this new medicine (Amatriptyline) and wondering "How long can I go through this before we say THIS drug isn't working?" when she actually called me. It startled me because the VA switchboard number doesn't have an assigned ringtone and the noise is that of an old-timey rotary dial phone's ring. Startled me so much that I almost fell out of my chair. (that's only a slight exaggeration).

She asked how things were going, how I felt, if I had any side effects... I told her that I was thinking about calling to ask: "How long do I have to be on this to decide if it isn't working" and what my very mild side effects were. She said we were going to up the dosage from a single tablet to a tablet-and-a-half. (10 mgs to 15 mgs). She also said that when I start the 15, I should cut down on my muscle relaxers. So, I only took one on the first night I took a pill-and-a-half. On the second day, I didn't take one in the morning (my usual dose is one in the morning, two at night). The next day, I could barely move. I had a severe case of "Batman neck" and I had it not just in my neck, but in my shoulders, elbows, wrists and my ankles. Like I said, I could barely move.

That night, I went back to the two muscle relaxers and the next morning, I took another... I'm not going to up the dose of the Amatriptyline till I get the proper prescription in the mail (also because I don't want to run out suddenly by using up MORE of what I have).

So, I've been miserable anyway, but last week and this week have been astoundingly terrible. I had a ren faire this weekend- Stronghold- and it was VERY chilly. It was fantastic, but damn cold. (I actually spent money on an actual cloak- on sale, helluva good deal). Hey, I actually have a photo of me wearing it...

~Taken by Chad Britt~

Chad took that shot from inside the castle. I had just finished up a little shoot with the guys from Cutlass Cooking (they had so few photos of themselves that weren't on stage). I want to mention here- on Sunday, I completely forgot to grab the SD card I need for my camera. Partly from lack of sleep, partly from the flareup, partly from the pain meds, but totally my own fault. I was contemplating driving to the nearest town and buying a new one when I spotted someone from Bristol. His name is Stephen and he loaned me a 64 GB memory card so I would be able to remain useful at Stronghold. (and it is now in my belt pouch so I don't forget to give it back to him this weekend!).

Anyway, where was I? Oh, that's right, bitching about this stupid disease and lack of treatment that works at all. I spent all day Sunday (which is when that photo was taken) with a full-blown flareup. One of the other photographers made a comment as to why I'd go out in the cold air if I felt so bad. I said: "I could feel like shit at home and do nothing or I could come here and feel like shit with people I love and enjoy being around... so yeah, it wasn't a hard choice."

Without the faire and those friends to look forward to, this would be unbearable. This week, the fibro flareup triggered a flareup of the tendinitis in my shoulder. I had sharp, stabbing pain radiating from my upper back (slightly to the right of my spine), down to my shoulder where it turned into a burning pain, down to my elbow and wrist, where it mimicked the pain of having sprained said joints. Because of that pain- ALL THE PAIN- I was sleeping like an actual baby. A colicky baby with the power of speech. I woke up approximately four-hundred-thirty-seven times an hour (that's an estimate). I tried to take a nap each day (in the morning, because being upright and conscious suuuuuu-uuuuuuu-uuuuuucked so very much) and on Wednesday, when I hadn't taken any muscle relaxers, I dozed on and off for this nap thing... and I woke up crying. I remember dreaming about floating on a cloud-like bed, telling my friends, Ansel and Tabitha, that I almost felt comfortable and thanking them for letting me stay in their basement (for the record, they live in an apartment and while I saw Tabitha on Saturday, I haven't seen Ansel since Bristol). In the dream, Tabitha handed me something and when I reached for it, the pain shot through my shoulder and upper back. I woke up crying and with the faint sounds of Tabitha's Bristol character telling me not to do that again.

Pain does weird shit to your brain.

So, without having the faire to look forward to, the subsequent photo-editing that followed, muscle relaxers, Vicodin, and my friends, I don't know what I would have done the last few weeks. It just all runs together for me. I don't even remember the last time I felt really good. I do have vague memories of the blog posts where I was hopeful that the Effexor was working and that I'd felt "okay".

You know, I'm not even asking to be pain-free. I don't even expect to ever be pain-free again, not 100%, anyway. I just want to be able to do the stuff I enjoy doing and seeing the people I enjoy seeing. Looking back on how my life has evolved with the faire, I'm so glad this stupid disease didn't start causing me problems before Faire Life. Before this, I had nothing. I had the kids and the disabled spouse. We didn't do anything, we didn't go anywhere. I knew a few people- other parents at the kids' school(s), but we didn't do things together. And the few times I DID do something with another parent (and our kids, like a deranged Brady Bunch), it was because that parent needed an extra adult in the situation (like renting canoes and taking a day trip down the Wisconsin River and going to museums in Milwaukee). That was actually the beginning of the issues- I remember coming back from a museum trip in Milwaukee and my foot had swelled up inside my shoe. I wrote a review for the IMAX movie we saw and mentioned in the review how I was sitting at my desk with my foot in a bucket of ice water.

And now? Now I have three small faires, the one big faire, and the number one Steampunk convention on my list of "things to do". Plus, I've been to Chicago more times in a year than I ever had been in my entire life.

Anyway... I have a faire tomorrow- A Gathering of Rogues & Ruffians in New Glarus. And, in a few weeks, I have Teslacon.  I have "official photographer" status for GRR, but not at Teslacon. I'm unofficially the photographer there...

The renaissance faire.

The people who are in my life because of the ren faire.

Pain medication.

Photography.

These are things I can't live without.

And maybe you can see why I enjoy being with these people...

And now... some photos!

~Link to the whole album~


Some of the guys from the Guild of St. Michael.

Then they had some fun.

One of the kids' shows did a treasure hunt and we're pretty sure that's what this "Y" is about... but Sir Francis Drake ponders... Why?

I got to follow the Queen's Court around for a couple hours and we ended up on the roof of the castle (the roof of the archway, actually, not the WHOLE roof).

Carlo Tuzzio and Caesar

Tabitha! As a patron!

This is a photo of JUST the nobility and their "staff"... this doesn't include the GSM (military) or any of the stage acts.



The last photo I took on Sunday- my 365... Day 234 of year 5. (that's my daughter with the red skirt and blue and brown shawls and her boyfriend next to her, wearing my cloak).



And for fun- my Steampunk Wonder Woman outfit that all started with a hat...

Let's hope that little blip on my birthday isn't an indication of the rest of my year

I'm sure it won't, but you know how you superstitious types get.

Let's get everything up to speed right now. Saturday and Sunday, Ceej and I went to the Stronghold Olde English Faire. We weren't sure we were going to go, but on the last day at Bristol, as we were saying our goodbyes and hugging our friends who don't mind being hugged by sweaty people in period clothing, they kept saying, "We'll see you at Stronghold!"

So we went.

And I'm so glad we did. It was fantastic to see our friends again and as it turns out, a lot more of the cast people knew who we were than I thought did. Everyone should know how much I love Jane the Phoole. Because I do. She always remembered me (even if she couldn't place my extremely common name- she used to try and moniker me up with something more elegant only to find that nope, Just Patty) although for many years we only saw each other at the Janesville Faire for two days a year).

Well, at this year's Janesville Faire, I met a Captain Sir Martin Frobisher. He told tales of his travels and he was awesome and hilarious and grand fun. We saw him again, many times at Bristol. But in the time between Janesville and Bristol (about two months), he- that is, his non-character alter ego- sent me some messages about the photos I took of him at Janesville. So, when we saw him at Bristol, I knew he would remember me once I told him who I was. But I didn't even have to- he knew who I was. And that always makes me happy. And whenever we'd see each other in passing, he'd greet me with a cheerful "Good day, m'lady!" (he also, more than once, referred to me and the kid as "The Ladies [our-last-name]").

But back at the task at hand- Captain Frobisher and Jane are my two favorite Bristol characters. There are many, many more that I love (Robin Hood, for instance, and Little John. Those men make me laugh so hard that my sides ache for days). And I was happy to see Frobisher and many other of Bristol's cast at Stronghold. There was no joust at Stronghold, just a small, two-day faire. But Frobisher and a band of other men in finery (some were sea captains, some were part of the Queen's court/guard) played a game that we modern folk know as Jenga. Except this game was much larger and they played it with swords. Frobisher asked for my assistance three times- once it was not needed as the player before him toppled the tower, the second time, it was my honor to place the final block on the tower so they could start the game, and third, I dropped his sword when he asked me to hold it for one of his flourishes.

I've gotten off track a bit... But you know me, I do love to talk about the faire.

Two days of mostly walking and standing. Friday I had to drive three hours round trip to pick up Ceej from her college and Sunday evening, I had to do the same to return her. Since last week, I've been taking half the muscle relaxers that I normally do because I started to run low and I didn't want to run out before my next appointment (next week). On Sunday night and then on Tuesday night, I didn't take any muscle relaxers. I was driving and up too late to take them. Shawn arrived Tuesday, with just a two hour delay. That's an improvement on the 36 hour delay from his last visit.

We didn't go to see the girls on Wednesday. Jet lag got to Shawn and he opted to catch up on his sleep. But we're going to Milwaukee this weekend to do some museums and other such touristy things.

So, this hiccup I mentioned in the title.

Monday was my birthday. I have one plan for my birthday- to do as little as possible. And after two days of walking (and laughing so hard my sides are still sore, even on Thursday) and not taking enough pain medicine, I definitely didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. But the disabled guy wanted to go to Sam's Club. I hate that place. He always ends up buying stuff we don't need, which is bad enough. But he has to walk down every single aisle. No idea why. I even asked him why. My body was sore, I was tired, my feet were in agony, and I was swollen. I kept telling him I needed to sit down and that once we had the few things we needed, we should just go.

He either didn't care or he thought I was exaggerating. Or he just wasn't listening. By the time we were through the store (where I did a lot of standing at the ends of aisles), I was exhausted and frustrated. I just wanted to sit down and take off my shoes. But I wouldn't even be able to do that because my parents wanted to take us to dinner (part of my routine is to order pizza for dinner). We walked up to a checkout line- the disabled guy blathering on about how we didn't get "that much stuff" and then he waffled over which line to go through. I finally blurted that I didn't goddamn care and just wanted to leave. The guy in line ahead of us looked at me, a little shocked. I mean, how often do you see a fat chick at Sam's bitch out her husband? (don't answer that!). I looked at him and said, "Its my birthday and I'm here."

He said, "Oh. Happy Birthday."

I said, "Thanks." Then I looked away. All the frustration from that day just bubbled up and I felt like I was about to lose it. I asked the disabled guy: "Do you need me here for this? Can I go sit in the car?"

He told me to go and I put on my sunglasses and beat feet to the truck. I didn't make it all the way out there when the tears came. I got into the truck, turned the AC on full blast (it was hot) and turned up the music. I sat there crying for about five minutes. The guy who had been in line ahead of us was parked about two spaces down. He had enough sense not to come over and bother me, though for a moment it looked to me like he was going to stop and ask me if I was okay.

When the disabled guy walked out (finally), I'd settled down enough to be able to function. I didn't say a word to him- beyond "Don't break my frame"- and we drove in silence for about two minutes. Then he asked: "Why are you so mad?"

Mad? This isn't "mad" unless we're talking of the British usage of "mad" (which is "insane"). I started to explain, rather heatedly (that is to say, I went off on him, rather loudly), about what was wrong. I stopped halfway through. He wasn't really listening.

But, my son got me my required-by-law Dairy Queen ice cream cake. And Shawn arrived the next day. And aside from being exhausted, I'm okay. I got my muscle relaxer refill yesterday so I was able to take a full dose and crashed hard last night.

Tomorrow, we go to Milwaukee for a couple days. We're going to stop in and see the girls along the way back.

And, for fun, here is a video of Captain Frobisher playing Sword Point Tower at Stronghold. And then some photos.



All Stronghold 2011 photos are here... Well, most of them. I still have some from "A Knight to Remember" to go through.







This is Bristol's "Robin Hood". He wasn't portraying Robin at Stronghold, though.



Jane the Phoole-