Tuesday, January 24, 2012

About falling- not in love, but actually falling...

I have yet to take a tumble in relation to my fibrofuckingmyalgia. I suppose it has taken its time fucking with me in other ways so it will save the falling for when I'm on concrete or out in public wearing a skirt so I can do the utmost damage or suffer the utmost in upskirting.

Over on the Facebook place, this link was posted about Fibrofuckingmyalgia and Falls. Now, while I haven't had a fall as the result of this stupid disease, something struck me...

This part:
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Researchers say they found low muscle strength in the legs, low function in the knees and hips, and poor balance and agility in the fibromyalgia group.
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My total knee replacement recovery was delayed by a then-undiagnosed fibrofuckingmyalgia. And now my thigh muscles are shot. I just assumed that my thighs were atrophied from the fact that they didn't do much other than hurt and bitch about their lives for over a year. The right side was worse than the left because I hurt my right knee way back in 2006. And in 2009, the left knee underwent cyborg assimilation surgery. As if that itself wasn't a bowl full of fairy farts and candy, that was when the undeniable and obvious signs of fibrofuckingmyalgia decided to raise its ugly head. Up till then, doctors- well, not doctors- just one in particular, would explain away the symptoms as to being from other problems. I'm not getting any younger, I'm overweight (that was his favorite, even when I wasn't overweight), osteoarthritis even when the pain was in the muscles and not the joints, thyroid disease that I've had since I was 18 and it was well-controlled and monitored (by him, no less!), and stress...

But, the knee replacement just shoved it all up into the face of the next doctor I had. By then, I'd taken to making lists and taking them with me to my doctor visits. But this isn't about that...

My leg muscles are shot and no matter what I do, they just don't build back up. And now I know why it has been so hard. Back in the day, I used to cycle. A lot. And that's a great way to build up one's legs. Except that my orthopedic surgeon specifically said not to bike ride. Stationary, sure. But not actual. And I have no place in my house in which to place a stationary bike (even if I could afford one). The doctor said that if I do decide to bike and then I wreck, I should "fling" myself to the right side so I don't damage my cyborg leg.

I thought about that and sort of chuckled. Then a while later, I remembered- in two year's of my biking life, I had three major accidents. And two of those were on safe bike paths. Where I live now has bike paths, but a lot of the "path" part is on the side of a road. So yeah... unless I build a special room for a stationary bike, the biking things isn't happening.

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