Monday, February 6, 2012

About Falling... as in "On my Ass"...

Last Monday night, my second worst fear happened. I slipped on the ice and tore up my human knee again.

Why is this my second worst fear? Because my worst fear- with my knees, of course- is falling and destroying my cyborg knee. I have this irrational image of the metal knee joint shearing away from bone and leaving me with a blindingly painful rubbery knee. I found out last year that isn't what happens when one damages a metal knee joint. What happens is much worse, involves metal rods and screws and the rebuilding of your femur like a thousand-piece puzzle.

I didn't write a blog about this last week because I wanted to see my surgeon first. I had that appointment this morning. I was hoping that my appointment last year was my last-ever. Well, that's today, dammit. As nice as he and his nurses are, I never want to see them ever again. He agreed.

The good news is that there is nothing wrong with my cyborg knee. It isn't chipped, cracked, injured or otherwise damaged. The human knee has nothing structurally wrong with it from this slip and fall. The bones are intact and not dislocated. The arthritis is "very obvious", similar to what caused me to need the other knee replacement. But it is in no way needing a replacement.

And the injury itself triggered a delightful fibro flareup. Using crutches for three days just about killed my arms. That was a muscle memory I was unhappy with and I wish my muscles would remember the yoga and the walking. I stopped using the crutches and started using the two canes. George and Gracie. Yes, I named them. Eventually, I stopped using two and was down to just the one.

Since I've been putting off writing this blog, I got even lazier and did a video of my route on my deck.

I mentioned a photo in the video. Here's the photo in question- I did some Photoshop to show where the ice/water was when I was old-man shuffling around. And the red X is where I landed on my ass.

And, my knee has a glorious bruise on it. These photos were taken on Wednesday- so not even two days after it happened.

This was taken in the morning, after my shower. Yes... I was naked. YOU'RE LOOKING AT A NAKED PHOTO OF ME! I KNOW, YOU FEEL ASHAMED!

And this one was later in the day. I'm poking the part where my kneecap is supposed to be.

So, according to ol' Doc Bones, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to- ice, elevation, pain meds as needed. And I'm still trying to stay active. As active as one can be while whining about a fibrofuckingmyalgia flareup and a hurt knee. And, the knee exam left me tired and sore. I feel terrible right now. Well, not right now because I took some Vicodin a few hours ago. I felt terrible... Yay, Vicodin!

Also, on Saturday, this happened:

356 of 365/2- CADBURY!!

And today, this happened:

358 of 365/2- The truth is out there...

So if we just ignore the whole slipped-on-the-ice thing, this week wasn't all that bad.

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