Thursday, May 23, 2013

The new flare-up from Hell. They can't ALL be from Hell, can they?

I started having this flare-up on Monday. At first, it wasn't an issue, because I figured it was Faire Weekend spill-over. I always hurt the Monday after a faire weekend. But, as the day went on, the pain got worse and worse instead of better. Tuesday wasn't terrible, but I felt awful. Just that all-over achy feeling, sort of like the pre-flu. Wednesday sucked. I took pain meds all day. And on all those days, I had to take a nap in the morning. I had no choice. It was either "go take a nap for an hour" or "fall down on the floor and be smothered in Chis" (say that out loud).

Then we have today. I woke up in agony. And I mean agony. I had pain all over my body. From my toes to my head and just about everything in between. I couldn't even walk. I had to shuffle. The only way to describe that astounding amount of pain is to liken it to a sprained ankle... if that sprained ankle pain is ALL OVER YOUR BODY. It was an intense, constant pain. Every step shot a jolt of pain through my legs. My ankles felt like I had actually sprained them (I haven't, by the way. And they STILL feel like that now, late in the evening).

I couldn't take daytime Vicodin though. I had to run some errands and go to the grocery store. I hate the whole upright, living, doing, clothing thing on flareup days. My skin didn't just itch today, it felt like I was on fire. My skin still feels hot, almost like I have a fever, but its only a fever I can feel. If you were to touch my skin- that is, if I let you close enough to me to try and lay even the gentlest finger on my body- it would feel normal. I'm not sweaty, I'm not actually feverish. And as if that wasn't fun enough, the itching is doing that thing. Those hairy-legged spiders are trying to escape through my pores again.

When I got home from my errands, I just sat down at my desk. Within an hour, my body decided that my super-soft sweater was sandpaper and that my jeans were designed by the same guy who created wool blankets for the US Army. The neuropathy in my feet decided that my shoes were made of bear traps. I went upstairs and crawled into bed, leaving my clothes in a random pile near my dresser. I wasn't tired, I just needed to go starfish and even out the pain or the gravitational pull. I did end up taking a short nap, though. Not on purpose, it just happened.

I'm a few hours into my pain meds and my body finally feels a little better. The agonizing edge has been dialed back a little. Now instead of "agonizing", the pain is closer to "terrible". The itching level is at "insanity" and the fire-skin has cooled to a Girl-Scout level as opposed to "arsonist".

Tomorrow, I have to take it easy. On Saturday, I'm doing a charity photo shoot as the second photographer and since its a charity for a woman's self-confidence, I'm taking part in it. (The Traveling Red Dress- my daughters, four years apart in school, both had red prom dresses and they're going to donate those dresses to the cause. Oh, and they'll be at the photo shoot too). But if I expect to function on Saturday, I have to take it easy tomorrow.

I could do without the sprained-ankle feeling in my ankles. The thing about that pain is that it doesn't hurt if I'm not standing or moving my ankles. Right now, I'm in that proper typing position- sitting up straight, wrists resting on the padded thingy for my keyboard, and I have one foot placed slightly ahead of the other, flat on the floor. My ankles do not hurt. But if I go to flex my ankle or rotate it (one of the moves for reducing swelling in the legs), it screams in agony like I actually sprained it.

There's a comedian (Greg Behrendt, actually) who jokes about hurting oneself while one sleeps. Of course, his version is a lot funnier than mine. What do you expect? He's a comedian. I'm a fat housewife with fibrofuckingmyalgia and an obsession with renaissance faires and photography. (speaking of renaissance faires, we're 44 days from OPEN WIDE THE GATES!).

Part of my errands today was that I had to get my dad's mail (he's out of town again). While there, I weighed myself on his scale (I don't have one, he has a fancy one from the doctor that does everything but point and laugh at you). I haven't lost any weight, pounds-wise, but my clothing feels looser. I don't know why, but I wanted to mention it in case I fall into a sinkhole or something. "Well, Patty didn't stop-up that sinkhole like we expected... has she lost weight?"  No, apparently not.

Today felt worse than any of the other days that I've complained about through this blog. The pain was exacerbated by the fact I couldn't take any pain meds. I went through the grocery store almost on autopilot. There were a few times that I slowed down so much that I had to tell myself to keep moving. "If you fall down here, it will be embarrassing and they'll probably call an ambulance and you can't afford that. Plus, you have dairy in your cart. It'll go bad if you fall down here..."

I rationalize with myself. But I really did just want to stop walking and let gravity have her dirty way with me. She's pulling down on me awfully hard, she must want me closer to the ground. That's the only thing that makes sense.

I have no idea if gravity is a dude or a chick. Either way, Gravity is a bitch.

Here's hoping that I feel good enough to enjoy Saturday. My part of the red dress thing is that I'm wearing a skirt that I've never worn in public. And it shows my legs. I haven't shown my legs in a skirt since before 2004. How do I know that? Because in December of 2004, I started having issues with edema. My legs still swell up. Sometimes quite bad, sometimes not at all. I'm going to wear that red skirt with a red shirt and I'm going to rock it as hard as I can.

Right now, my only issue is footwear. Because of the pain and edema, I can't wear sandals. All I have are different styles of Doc Martens boots.

One good thing happened today. I unintentionally had a "Fro Knows Photo" theme going on with my 365s this week. Monday, I was wearing my favorite "I shoot RAW" T-shirt.  Tuesday, I put on my new "I shoot RAW" hoodie (Mother's Day gift to myself) for the photo. Wednesday, I was wearing my "FroNation" T-shirt (I have seven "I shoot RAW" shirts and the FroNation shirt as well as the new hoodie).  As I started my drag-shuffle to go lay down, I remembered I hadn't done my 365. So, I picked up my camera and grabbed my "I shoot RAW" bracelets (they come with the special deal orders. I gave one away this weekend). And since I was laying all starfished in bed, naked under the fleece blankets, alternately dying of the fire in my skin and shivering from the chill I got when I uncovered, I got artsy with my 365 and managed to stay within my unintentional Fro Knows Photo theme.

99 of 365 Part 4: Staying with the unintentional theme

So at least there's that... and my pain meds tonight DID take the edge off my pain. Here's hoping I can get through tomorrow and enjoy Saturday.

Who am I kidding? Pain or no pain, I enjoy taking photos. I just really want to wear my Dr Martens Triumphs instead of the sandals.

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