Saturday, April 2, 2011

Bad day, long day, and it's all my own fault, really.

Last week, my daughter went to New York City. The trip was paid for by selling some birdhouses (made by the Disabled Guy) and some photo prints that I did. And, in a last-ditch effort to come up with the money, I posted on my Facebook page that I was gladly taking donations. I had a few friends who had offered to send me a donation for Ceej, but at the start, I didn't want donations. We wanted to do it ourselves. By the end, I was desperate. And I didn't expect the amazing outpouring of generosity. Not only did a I get some donations, we got some sales and several people reposted the link to the shop (where we got said sales).

Why am I telling you this? Well, because last Saturday, I had a long night and didn't get to sleep till 5 AM. And Sunday evening, just as I was about to die from exhaustion, Ceej texted me to tell me that they'd be home "in about four hours..." which put it at 2 AM. I decided to sleep on the sofa, so I wouldn't have to stumble around in the dark upstairs when the time came to pick her up. I ended up just dozing on and off for about an hour and a half. I did discover what the dogs were barking at all night those other nights. They're growling, then barking, at the changes in the Disabled Guy's snoring. Now we don't need advice on what to do and no, he doesn't have sleep apnea. He doesn't have it. He's been tested and the problem is related to his stroke. The flappy thing in the back of his throat (well, we all have it) is paralyzed on the right side (like his arm and leg, lip, eyelid, you get it). That's why he snores SO loud and in any position he's in.

But I digress... With Ceej's excitement, I was up till almost 6 AM. But I didn't just dally around. I uploaded every single photo related to her trip. She only took 347 photos. We whittled them down to about 340. ~Linky-link~

Thursday was the big grocery shopping day. Bad enough because I've been trying to recover from those two nights where I was up till after 5 AM. And Friday- the usual payday errands. By the time we got home (around 2 PM), I was so tired and sore, all I wanted to do was sit in this chair. But Jase asked if I'd go with him to the next town. Since I had to look for something in a store there, I figured why not. He was driving, I just had to sit there. But his car is small (I drive a four-door truck and he drives a Cavalier).

Last night, the pain meds didn't touch the pain. The Gabapentin, well, it didn't do what it was supposed to do either. I was up till exhaustion took over at 2 AM. I crashed into my pillow hard. And I've been so exhausted all day I can barely stand. I've been avoiding a nap because I want to sleep tonight.

On top of the tiredness, my body aches. All over. My muscles are sore, like that "I was thrown from a horse" feeling. Then apparently, I was trampled by the horses behind me. My neck, shoulders, back, arms, legs- all stiff. I have a deep bone ache across my hips and lower back. It feels like arthritis (I know what that feels like). I know it isn't arthritis, but that's the sharp, stabbing pain I have. And the muscle down the front of my left thigh- that's screaming in pain. As long as I sit still and don't move my lower body at all, it doesn't hurt. But at the first sign of movement- even to adjust my feet under the desk- the symphony of agony flares up.

I can barely walk. The first several steps, I have to hold onto things (if I give in, I'll use my cane, but I don't want to use my fucking cane!). Going upstairs is such a chore and it hurts so much. My skin is itchy and it feels hot. Hot from the inside. Apparently, those thousands of tiny, hairy-legged spiders have picked up torches. I want to stretch, just languidly sprawl out and stretch every muscle. But I can't. When I try, I feel like my muscles are being ground together like a mortar and a pestle. And this isn't all my own fault. We had massive weather changes this week. Such as? We got snow yesterday. Yeah, that's a hell of a change.

I feel like hell. And of course, nobody in the house cares. My online people care. (they say they do, but if they don't, I don't care- the fact they said they do is enough at this point). If I could just curl up in a ball under my soft and fuzzy blanket, I would. I didn't even want to do my photo of the day, but I did. My original plan didn't work, but I still managed a decent photo.

So I have bags under my eyes to accentuate the dark circles and I want to claw my skin off my body. But my hair looks nice and that's all that counts, right?

48 of 365/2- I overdid the physical stress yesterday


  1. your hair DOES look nice.

    also, i love that you whittled 347 photos down to 340.

  2. I SO wish I had a cure for you to take the pain away; totally sucks! On a happier note, I love the pictures of the puppies on FB as well as all of the self photos. Sending (((HUGS))) your way. A

  3. I'm sorry you had such a bad few days. It's great that ceej got to go on the trip. Your hair does look great. And nice cleavage ;)