I always figured that if I didn't post for several days in a row, it was because I felt great or that I was so busy that I couldn't be bothered by the pain. Not so much. I've been meaning to come in and post a bit, tell everyone how this day feels or that day. But each time I tried to start, I'd either get distracted into another task or I simply didn't care. I just couldn't muster the energy to type it all up and bitch about it.
Well, I'm here now to tell you that Springtime and Humidity have teamed up to create a tag-team of hell. The ever-changing weather of the Spring isn't bad enough, we had mid-80s one day only to drop to the mid-40s the next. We had a heat index one day and a wind chill the next. And the next goddamn person who says: "If'n you hate the weather in [state name], just wait five minutes! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!" is going to get roundhouse kicked in the back of the face. By me. By me, standing on a chair. By me, standing on a chair, holding onto the wall for support. By me, standing on a chair, holding onto the wall for support, and two hours after I've taken my pain meds. THEN you'll be in trouble. Whoo-boy.
So yeah, we've got the ever-changing weather patterns. Rain, sun, hot, cold... the barometric pressure is up, then down, rising, then falling. And let's barf up some humidity on top of it. Any level of humidity- I can feel it. Why am I talking in reverse? I don't know. I blame the weather though. Or... maybe Yoda had fibromyalgia and that's just how it makes us talk. Who the hell knows? I mean, fibro is different for everyone, yet same enough to have a list of common symptoms.
Yeah, here's your common symptom: PAIN.
Two weeks from today is the Janesville Renaissance Faire. I was hoping to have had a significant weight loss before then. To feel better before then. Granted, I do feel better than I did last year, but only marginally and only on good days. I wanted to be able to run and play with the rest of the kids. You see, I dress up and walk the walk. I have trouble talking the talk, but I still have fun. Don't judge me, you've not seen the boobshelf in a lace-up bodice.
With all this weather fluctuation, I'm worried that I won't feel good enough to enjoy Bristol Renaissance Faire. And I desperately want to. I want to walk the walk and talk the talk and entertain myself and other people and have fun and spread joy and watch the joust (ooh, baby, the joust) and see the acrobats and STAY ALL DAY so I can see every show and... what's that? I sound like I'm whining? Well, dammit, I AM! This goddamn disease has taken enough from me. It is part of the reason I have a cyborg knee. This disease took too many years from me. For three years, I didn't even go to Bristol because I knew I wouldn't last. It was too hot, or too humid or too... whatever. And I went ONE time in 2009. In 2010, I went three... four? And it was fantastic. And I want to make the whole summer fantastic.
The disabled guy has his NASCAR. That's at least two days a week (more if he watches the practices and qualifying). Haven't I suffered enough NASCAR exposure to earn this? Two days a week with like-minded people who all appreciate each other's laced-up boobshelves and uh... other parts?
You're thinking to yourself right now: "Damn straight! You have earned that right! And, I didn't know NASCAR exposure was a disease!"
Well, it is. And it hurts slightly less than fibromyalgia.
**No offense to any NASCAR fans out there. I'm not a NASCAR-ist. I'm married to one of you!