Saturday, December 1, 2012

Now and then, I do a little research on my own disease

Not often, really, but enough to keep up on the latest trend in treatments and such. And in my Google searching, this blog post of my own popped up.  As I went on, a few more popped up, including this one about the rapid decline of a day from a flareup. 

The reason I decided to poke around was because for over a week, my right foot and ankle have been killing me. It feels like a severe sprain or even a fracture. It isn't the usual fibro pain. So, I need to refresh my memory a bit on whether or not that's a normal thing. You know, having one part of the body hurt but not other parts.

So, to bring you up to speed, my left hip from my waist to the hip joint, is in agonizing pain. I make beautiful contortion-ed faces when I go to get up from a chair. And my right ankle from mid-calf to the middle of the arch of my foot is screaming at me every time I move it. I can't even do simple stretches like I normally do to get rid of the stiffness-pain.

Thursday was somewhat rough in that I was halfway through the grocery store when my body wanted to curl itself into a question mark. Today- aside from the ankle thing- wasn't so bad, but it was bad enough I didn't go pick up photo prints I had done. I HAVE to go pick them up tomorrow. And while I'm out, I'm going to find somewhere to take some photos.

But if I wake up feeling the way I feel today, it'll be loose-jeans-giant-t-shirt day.

Oh, by the way, having oddly aching body parts is "normal". Nothing is really "normal" with fibrofuckingmyalgia. What I suffer through isn't necessarily what you suffer through, but of course, there are common themes. And different levels of stress... I'm tired of the stress that causes the pain. Why can't I just have the stress, deal with it, and move on? Why do I have to have a three day engagement with pain after I deal with stress?

I never really realized how much stress I was under till I had to start cutting it out of my life. And that's not easy to do. I'm stuck with one major source of stress in the Disabled Guy.

In my Google searching today, when my own blog posts would pop up, I re-read them. It has been months since I've had someone say something remotely supportive. The good news is, even with my older blog posts, when I read that someone said something encouraging or remotely caring, I remembered the incident and it made me smile.

So fuck the pain. Fuck the stress that causes the pain. Fuck it all. Because someone out there gets it.

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