Monday, March 10, 2014

Sleep. Sleep is for the weak!

I am actually sleeping. Not right now, of course, because sleep-blogging is a talent I don't possess. I barely have a talent for blogging in general, but I digress.

I'm not sleeping well. I'm not at the level I was pre-diagnosis, where I was waking up every 60 to 90 minutes, but I can tell I'm not sleeping very good. When I go to bed, I don't sink into my bed with the slightly gushy feeling of someone on muscle relaxers. I don't know for sure if I'm waking up like before, but I know I'm not restful in my sleep. I've woken up having night sweats (yay, peri-menopause!) and I've slept through my alarms- yes, plural. I have four, set ten to fifteen minutes apart. And then we did that "spring ahead" thing and my brain is just laughing at me about THAT. I'm tired, but in that "I'm not sleeping enough" way and not the "I have a chronic illness so I'm going to lay here on the floor and cry for a while" way.

Today, I woke up about an hour after my final alarm and that was after going to bed by 1030 PM. When I tried to sit up, all my muscles were aching. My important joints (elbows, shoulders, hips- the "big" ones) felt like they were being pressed together and my feet weren't even on the floor yet. Even my abs hurt. My abs feel like I've been doing crunches. My muscles are achy and my joints are sore, and my abs feel sore and tight.

I've come to one of two conclusions.

1- I secretly work out in my sleep. I say "secretly" because even I don't know about it.

Or... 

2- I am secretly a superhero at night. And apparently, last night, while on my patrol, leaping from rooftop to rooftop and standing dramatically on building ledges with my hands on my hips as I surveyed the city's skyline, listening for a mere mortal to cry out for help, I obviously got into some kind of fight with a supervillain. It couldn't have been my archnemesis, though, because I didn't wake up on an oddly elaborate setup with a conveyor belt and a laser at the ready to cut me in half.

I can only hope that it is Theory 2 because being a superhero would mean I get to wear cool clothes in the off-season, but waking up all sweaty for no reason makes me lean to Theory 1...

So, those are the possibilities. Working out at night or Superheroing at night. Because who needs sleep?!  I mean, besides me, because I'm exhausted.

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